dark_magician

Things do not bode well in the land of the magician right now. I won't go into it because it's not worth it. Needless to say I am a tad on the depressed side. I'm not realy sure what I want in life right now. I know I don't want a girlfriend. Part of me realy wants one out of a need to be with someone, however another part of me says that it doesn't want one, it enjoys being single. I need to get out and date. I haven't been on a real date in quite a while. I get the ocasional hit on my personals site, but everyone talking to me lives to far away to make anything worth it. I need some more friends offline. Russo is cool, but I will admit I need some guy friends. My roommate rawks (note the wk spelling, this indicates high amounts of fun.) but we aren't realy into the same stuff. I'd like to hang out with Louis, but I don't realy know him that well and he lives in maryville. I met some guys at the end who seemed cool, but I don't think they realy find me anything more than a nice little novelty act. Brad, this guy I used to work with, and I are pretty good friends. However work and school prove to not let us get together very often. I need to meet a girl, maybe a goth chick, maybe a normal chick, I just need to meet a girl. I probably sounded shallow about the morristown girl, but whenever we hung out offline she always clammed up around me and wouldn't talk normally. THen of course there's the fact that the picture she sent me, and real life weren't the same person. I sometimes wonder about my code of ethics. I claim to know alot about ethics, I've read Mills, Kant, Aristotle, Fritz, Rawls, and a myriad of others, but do I apply it in real life often enough? If I know the difference between right and wrong, shouldn't I simply apply it all the time? I'd like to say yes, I do that, but I'm not sure I do. I'm not sure any of us do. I suppose I could say I try to live as best as I can morally, but I'm not sure if I realy do. Perhaps to myself I do, but to an observer I probably look like the most amoral being on the face of the planet. Then again I know that the inverse could be true as well. I'm not sure anymore about myself at all. I'm not suicidal, just wondering about the person other people see, not the one I see in the mirror. Oh well, have a good one, I'll update again when I can.
-Erik
"Magic up close and personal, the way it should be."