Today I was stopped by a beggar. Not an uncommon occurrence, it happens a lot because Im a handsome dude. 
But this one really bothered me, maybe even pissed me off. Why? Because I was carrying some fast food and I bet he thought, Damn, this suckers gotta have change! We lock eyes and he seizes the opportunity to nab a person to speak to, sell a story to and walk away with some coins, if not paper.
Hey, brother! he declares, were both white but Im okay with it. Oh man, thanks for stopping and talking to me, not like all these other fuckers who just tell me to fuck off!
Oh, great. This is going to be an awesome conversation. Why did I stop again?
Look, man, Im having the worst day. Im not a bum or anything, I bet you are a bum, arent you? Not that being a bum is wrong, it only brings the thought to the front of your mind when someone who looks like well, this guy, and talks like this guy, says something like that. Moving on.
Im not a bum or anything, I never do this. Riiiiiiiiight. I just spent the night in prison, I got beat up havin the worst fucking day, man - my grandma just passed away, the funerals in two days, my hands all cut up have you ever heard of Sudbury?
*sigh* this is what I call The Sob Story. Its when someone wants you to take pity on them with a series of increasingly horrible events that transpired - always within the last 24 hours - that make you feel guilty for this poor fellow and subsequently relieved after you give him a few bucks and send him on their way. I get these every few months.
Sudbury, Ontario? Of course I know what Sudbury is. I almost motioned with my arm roughly where it might be, regardless of my lack of a sense of direction.
Come on, man, dont talk to me like Im a friggin idiot. Im already pissed off enough that my sub is getting cold and now Im starting to feel even more like youre wasting my time.
Right! Well I gotta get out there, man. Im at the point swear to God, Ill get down and lick your shoes. Well, maybe not. I kind of smile at that.
Ha, dont laugh man, I would. Anyway, he pulls out a pocket full of coins. My ticket out there is $21.50
And here I thought he wasnt a bum. Isnt this the definition of a bum, begging strangers for money?
Dude, I say, I wag my delicious meatball sub and large Coke a little, as if to draw his attention to the fact that Im aware this is the only reason hes bothering me on the street, because he believed I have some change from the purchase. I bought this with a gift card; you actually have more cash that I do right now. I say as I point at the maybe $18 in loonies, toonies and quarters.
He falls silent, and looks away angrily, almost like hes heard that a dozen times today; or that hes pissed that he wasted precious minutes trying to sell a story on someone who didnt have the decency to say right away that he doesnt have any change. Because its me whos doing the time wasting here. So I walk away, shrugging my shoulders.
You know what? I dont hate beggars. Some of them are probably really down on their luck and need a hand. Im not at all against tossing a coin or two in a hat from time to time, especially if the person in question is doing something (playing a guitar, for example.) But the aggressive ones, the ones that run right up to you, stop you on the sidewalk, try to manipulate and abuse your natural impulse to not ignore someone who asks for help then pretend theyre not trying to get you to give them something. Goddammit that just pisses me the fuck off.
But this one really bothered me, maybe even pissed me off. Why? Because I was carrying some fast food and I bet he thought, Damn, this suckers gotta have change! We lock eyes and he seizes the opportunity to nab a person to speak to, sell a story to and walk away with some coins, if not paper.
Hey, brother! he declares, were both white but Im okay with it. Oh man, thanks for stopping and talking to me, not like all these other fuckers who just tell me to fuck off!
Oh, great. This is going to be an awesome conversation. Why did I stop again?
Look, man, Im having the worst day. Im not a bum or anything, I bet you are a bum, arent you? Not that being a bum is wrong, it only brings the thought to the front of your mind when someone who looks like well, this guy, and talks like this guy, says something like that. Moving on.
Im not a bum or anything, I never do this. Riiiiiiiiight. I just spent the night in prison, I got beat up havin the worst fucking day, man - my grandma just passed away, the funerals in two days, my hands all cut up have you ever heard of Sudbury?
*sigh* this is what I call The Sob Story. Its when someone wants you to take pity on them with a series of increasingly horrible events that transpired - always within the last 24 hours - that make you feel guilty for this poor fellow and subsequently relieved after you give him a few bucks and send him on their way. I get these every few months.
Sudbury, Ontario? Of course I know what Sudbury is. I almost motioned with my arm roughly where it might be, regardless of my lack of a sense of direction.
Come on, man, dont talk to me like Im a friggin idiot. Im already pissed off enough that my sub is getting cold and now Im starting to feel even more like youre wasting my time.
Right! Well I gotta get out there, man. Im at the point swear to God, Ill get down and lick your shoes. Well, maybe not. I kind of smile at that.
Ha, dont laugh man, I would. Anyway, he pulls out a pocket full of coins. My ticket out there is $21.50
And here I thought he wasnt a bum. Isnt this the definition of a bum, begging strangers for money?
Dude, I say, I wag my delicious meatball sub and large Coke a little, as if to draw his attention to the fact that Im aware this is the only reason hes bothering me on the street, because he believed I have some change from the purchase. I bought this with a gift card; you actually have more cash that I do right now. I say as I point at the maybe $18 in loonies, toonies and quarters.
He falls silent, and looks away angrily, almost like hes heard that a dozen times today; or that hes pissed that he wasted precious minutes trying to sell a story on someone who didnt have the decency to say right away that he doesnt have any change. Because its me whos doing the time wasting here. So I walk away, shrugging my shoulders.
You know what? I dont hate beggars. Some of them are probably really down on their luck and need a hand. Im not at all against tossing a coin or two in a hat from time to time, especially if the person in question is doing something (playing a guitar, for example.) But the aggressive ones, the ones that run right up to you, stop you on the sidewalk, try to manipulate and abuse your natural impulse to not ignore someone who asks for help then pretend theyre not trying to get you to give them something. Goddammit that just pisses me the fuck off.
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casiopea:
i like your profile pic
di_xia:
jijiji ok bb