hello one short time again my beloved friends...
I am back home friom ICU and I want to thank everyone who has posted comment or sent me a supportive e-mail...
I just couldn't bear to see that last mornful wail of a dirge be what all of you have to deal with if you wish to send me comment...
My Father is an amazing warrior...
He is holding on for life and breath now til all his children have arrived bedside.
There is his daughter(my step sis) arriving in mere hours,
his last surviving biological son has rushed an emergency trip and arrives today as well..
Right now my pops thinks he doesn't arrive til Friday...
It seems he's determined to stick it out til Friday for that.
Every breath is a struggle now,
he's like a war hero who has gone into the trenches,
determined to hold his position til he can do so no more.
He's willed himself to survive just a bit longer.
The docs tell me it's a testament to the human will to survive that he holds on like this..
he refuses a ventilator,
my last hope he gets out of there is if he
doesn't go on the damn ventilator.
He had me read from psalms and the new testament last night...
he's so tired and worn out.
He can't think straight and he has the tolerance of a Saint...
I gained great wisdom from him last night,
it was as if the Spirit that he has entrusted his Fate to has infused him with great eloquence, wise words I don't even think he realizes he is speaking.
I still have hope he's gonna lick this.
It jut depends on how he feels now that all his children are gathered in vigil.
He may just let his struggle float away,
he may fight even harder.
He's a Hero for me either way.
Some of you are wonderful and ask how I am doing,
well, I thought I busted a blood vessel last night crying and
wailing as much as I did last night while typing that last entry and then again later when I got home a little while ago...
My eyes are disturbingly bloodshot,
my neck feels like a branding iron has been shoved up my spine,
my fingers are numb,
my slight paralysis from that old bothersome
kung fu injury has returned with a vengence!
But I can't let it stop me,
I must keep well enough to be able to drive to the airport, and get her to the hospital, my eyes are burning and quit on me a bit but
I am determined to get thru this day.
I love all of you.
I want this to be a more hopeful journal entry...
with fewer typos!
grazie SG lovelies and lads..
grazie
~J
I am back home friom ICU and I want to thank everyone who has posted comment or sent me a supportive e-mail...
I just couldn't bear to see that last mornful wail of a dirge be what all of you have to deal with if you wish to send me comment...
My Father is an amazing warrior...
He is holding on for life and breath now til all his children have arrived bedside.
There is his daughter(my step sis) arriving in mere hours,
his last surviving biological son has rushed an emergency trip and arrives today as well..
Right now my pops thinks he doesn't arrive til Friday...
It seems he's determined to stick it out til Friday for that.
Every breath is a struggle now,
he's like a war hero who has gone into the trenches,
determined to hold his position til he can do so no more.
He's willed himself to survive just a bit longer.
The docs tell me it's a testament to the human will to survive that he holds on like this..
he refuses a ventilator,
my last hope he gets out of there is if he
doesn't go on the damn ventilator.
He had me read from psalms and the new testament last night...
he's so tired and worn out.
He can't think straight and he has the tolerance of a Saint...
I gained great wisdom from him last night,
it was as if the Spirit that he has entrusted his Fate to has infused him with great eloquence, wise words I don't even think he realizes he is speaking.
I still have hope he's gonna lick this.
It jut depends on how he feels now that all his children are gathered in vigil.
He may just let his struggle float away,
he may fight even harder.
He's a Hero for me either way.
Some of you are wonderful and ask how I am doing,
well, I thought I busted a blood vessel last night crying and
wailing as much as I did last night while typing that last entry and then again later when I got home a little while ago...
My eyes are disturbingly bloodshot,
my neck feels like a branding iron has been shoved up my spine,
my fingers are numb,
my slight paralysis from that old bothersome
kung fu injury has returned with a vengence!
But I can't let it stop me,
I must keep well enough to be able to drive to the airport, and get her to the hospital, my eyes are burning and quit on me a bit but
I am determined to get thru this day.
I love all of you.
I want this to be a more hopeful journal entry...
with fewer typos!
grazie SG lovelies and lads..
grazie
~J
[Edited on Mar 02, 2005 11:53AM]