I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately . My day starts off at 7 A.M when I wake up my little one, then I get a small break if he decides to take a nap, when he wakes up we go outside so he can play, then it is time for me to hurry up and take a shower, get dressed and head to a N/A meeting. I've been going to meetings every night and I must say that I am proud of myself.
This is something that I just learned, so I thought I would share it : THE HARDEST PART OF ADDICTION IS RECOVERY !!!!!!!! In my opinion anyway. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing worse than going through heroin withdrawals or methadone withdrawal, benzo withdrawal etc. But, at that point you are either out of money and can not score or you are trying to make your 30th time promise that it would be your last; in any case , however, the mind and all the dope deprived cells in your body are hungry for more.... So we go out and do what we have to do in order to get our next fix, which really doesn't get you high (especially is you were using for 12 years like me), the fix is only to prevent you from getting sick. So, basically my days used to revolve around working for my "god" who I called Heroin. ...........after being pronounced dead 8 times and coming back to life... I realized that whoever is up there, (god, goddess, allah, buddah, etc) with their sick sense of humor has kept me alive for some reason, why I don"t know ???? I've been to hell and back a million times and am still here to tell my story of loss, of love, addiction, and my life in general. Maybe one day , it will be on the best sellers list as #1 - I'm
that confident that my book is gonna blow any book written about addiction, out of the water..(so to speak).
I'm gonna start putting up little short stories out of my book written as a blog and I need some constructive feedback. OK and no sugarcoating... I wanna know how it captures the reader...
anyway, I'm about to wake up my son from his nap..... put in some extensions in my hair, and then go to another meeting... I'm trying to do 90 in 90.
Azreale
This is something that I just learned, so I thought I would share it : THE HARDEST PART OF ADDICTION IS RECOVERY !!!!!!!! In my opinion anyway. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing worse than going through heroin withdrawals or methadone withdrawal, benzo withdrawal etc. But, at that point you are either out of money and can not score or you are trying to make your 30th time promise that it would be your last; in any case , however, the mind and all the dope deprived cells in your body are hungry for more.... So we go out and do what we have to do in order to get our next fix, which really doesn't get you high (especially is you were using for 12 years like me), the fix is only to prevent you from getting sick. So, basically my days used to revolve around working for my "god" who I called Heroin. ...........after being pronounced dead 8 times and coming back to life... I realized that whoever is up there, (god, goddess, allah, buddah, etc) with their sick sense of humor has kept me alive for some reason, why I don"t know ???? I've been to hell and back a million times and am still here to tell my story of loss, of love, addiction, and my life in general. Maybe one day , it will be on the best sellers list as #1 - I'm
that confident that my book is gonna blow any book written about addiction, out of the water..(so to speak).
I'm gonna start putting up little short stories out of my book written as a blog and I need some constructive feedback. OK and no sugarcoating... I wanna know how it captures the reader...
anyway, I'm about to wake up my son from his nap..... put in some extensions in my hair, and then go to another meeting... I'm trying to do 90 in 90.
Azreale
littlejohn22:
so, how are things going now? sending you some positive vibes in hope you can use them to inpower you to help stay clean. have a great week.