daphnee

Every time I am about to write a blog or whatever name given to my craziness, For a moment I get writer's block and then stare into space at the screen, then above this area where I am typing, I see the words - YOU ARE : Azreale, and for some unknown reason I always start to laugh to myself (since i am my biggest fan) and feel like duh, does anyone else see the humor in that ?? I have a very strange way of making the most odd or most serious situation, turn into some kind of humor to me. I guess you would really, I mean really have to know me and my personality to understand anything i am going on and on about ..... So with all that being said...
I FEEL LIKE I AM A FAMOUS PERSON WITH IMPORTANT THINGS TO SAY AND WRITE ABOUT AND I MUST HAVE LIKE A HUGE FOLLOWING AUDIENCE, MY RATINGS THROUGH THE ROOF; EVERYONE WANTS TO HEAR MY FUCKING TRUE LIFE BUT ONLY CAN HAPPEN TO ME AND DID HAPPEN TO ME AND I AM STILL HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT AND LAUGH AND MAKE SILLY JOKES ABOUT IT AND GIVE A GREAT MY OPINION SHOW OR SOMETHING. wHO THE FUCK KNOWS. WHENEVER I WRITE , I FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE BECAUSE, WHO AM I WRITING TO; AND DOES ANYONE EVEN NOTICE OR CARE, SO WHY DO I POST ANYWAY TYPE OF THING....

ANYONE STILL THERE:; Anyway I'll just humor myself again ,just for the sake of posting a blog, and do everything i just mentioned in the previous paragraph...............

My life never seems to stand still. There is always some kind of drama going on; whether it be mine which is bad enough, or that of some one else which branches off into the drama of people you really care about and then the drama of the people you want to tell fuck off and could care less about any word that escapes that persons devious MOUTH. So, drama. Its funny when people try to be superior to it all, like they have it all figured out and they are certain with themselves and let you aware of how little drama exists in their perfect little world - then oh no, shit - Skeletons start flying out their closets and from inbetween their teeth and you end up dodging bones... haha - but just making a point. Drama exists in everyone's world, whether you want to admit it or not; some of us have more at times , than less at others, but it is always there. I know many people that are in such denial about life, and about drama. Luckily I am not one of those. I will be the first to let you know - before getting to know me - that what you see is what you get, I'm not afraid to let people know who I was in the past, what i did, why, and the effects that my life have left a scar on me forever. I am tainted, used goods. Fuck it, whoever is reading this and thinking OMG, this girl is nuts; well well whoever you are so high and mighty- lets see you throw the first stone. I don't know where I am going with this, but I have been going through so much in the last month, my mind is overwhelmed with a thousand and one things that have not stopped running rampid 24/7 in my fucked up head.
This is very important, for the record, for whoever reads this :
ANYONE WHO IS READING THIS, I ASK A SMALL FAVOR !!!!!!! I NEED ALL OF YOU TO PRAY TO WHOEVER IT IS THAT YOU PLACE YOUR FAITH IN : i NEED YOU TO PRAY FOR A VERY SPECIAL PERSON TO ME, HER NAME IS STEPHANY - "Sky". She is in ICU critical care right now on life support . We are each others guardian angel. I now know that since i served as her guardian angel in this world, when she lets go and passes over, she will be added to my list of protectors -guardians. God knows that I must have a hundred and one, because with the shit i have pulled, ; it is insane that I am still alive. Been dead so many times, and sent back to my body so many times, here to live through everyone else I have loved and known suffer and drop dead like flys. I am so sick of losing the people that I love , I am so sick of drugs. Fuck Heroin and Fuck Crack and sharing needles and people getting sick and leaving you and fuck the old life, . Anyway, she is not going to make it , regardless, it would mean a lot to me, and I know to her if people would add her to their daily thought or pray or meditation that her soul lets go and goes peacefully from this evil world she existed in to a place that is much better for her.

On my end : Stephanie,
Last night our souls said goodbye to one another. I have been overwhelmed with such a peaceful feeling from the moment I saw you last night until they made me leave after visiting hours. I know you were holding on for a reason, and I realized that the reason was so you could see me before you let go. Yesterday, you came out of a coma, so when I got to see you, the nurse told me that you sometimes would open your eyes and maybe even whisper the nurses name - vent machine down your throught, so they made me dress up with a mask and gloves and the paper outfit. You laid their before me so peaceful, yet so scared. Your body has now since become paralyzed from neck down, so you could not feel me holding your hand., It was when I placed my hand on top of your all cut off hair and ran my hand through, then tried to transfer energy into your crown chakra - your eyes popped open and you remained with me through your eyes until I had to leave and then on my wave goodbye, you slipped back into another coma. When you saw me in front of you, your beautiful blue eyes were so scared and empty and you began to immediatley weep and you were struggling to move and move your lips, but you yelleped out my name three times as we both cryed, so the nurse ran and got the doctor to see how you were so alert and responding - even though they both know there is no getting better for you - its all a matter of time, whether or not you have just let go yet, which is the best thing for you. Your life was getting more hellish with time, and now it is time for you to be at peace. Or until your Dad gives them the Ok to shut unplug you. I put on your wrist one of my bracelets that i made for you and I held up your arm so that you could see that i had put it on for you and you were happy. I know when I left, you were more at peace. I don't think you seemed afraid any longer. You also yellped out for me to Please Help You , three times as you entered into your final coma state. I think I did help you yesterday. Our souls helped each other realize some things that we may have never saw before, even if it was right in front of our faces. life is so precious. Go home Stephanie, ... Watch out for me, from time to time - let me know of your presence - and I'll see you in the next life.
With love always,
me.