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danov

United Kingdom

Member Since 2004

Followers 8 Following 14

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Monday Mar 06, 2006

Mar 6, 2006
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Read this and weep. Hate me if you will or just pity me. But read this and know what I have done.

I dated Gaya.
It was awkward because of the circumstances around it but it was good. We had probems aplenty.
One was she was always paranoid of Ali and I.
Which is fine. I still like her. No big secret there.
A rumour went round that I was sleeping with Becky. Not so.
Also there was a rumour that I had sex with Ally. Again not so.
This was causing me some grief and I was not taking it well.
I had cheated on Gaya just the once, quite foolishly. As much as I like the girl I did it with, I still regret it in many ways. I regret the fact I never told her more.
But hey.... now is the time to lay the cards on the table.

I was thinking of leaving Gaya because it wasn't working out. As wonderful as she was, I wasn't happy. (Hence the previous misdeed)
So on Wednesday last I bump into Maddie. She wants to see Underworld 2 but wants somebody to watch it with.
She asks me.
I go over and we watch the film.
During which time we chat and realise we have a shitload in common and take quite a shine to each other. As the film nears the end we find we both have same problem. We get very randy watching vampire movies. Luckily we break it off with a kiss (bad deed noted) and nothing else happens.
The next day I break up with Gaya.
I walk home feeling lonely and a little down. Go online and talk to Maddie, who like me has mood cycles. Hers too was on a downer.
So we meet up to have a coffee at hers and chat and generaly cheer each other up.
This is late at night and it takes me an hour to walk home.
So I sleep at hers and stuff happens, hey, we both like each other and wanted to make the other happy.
Now all hell has broken loose as Gaya is angry as hell at me as it means I showed her zero respect. Which is probably true.
And Rob feels betrayed because I slept with his ex who I have now been told he still loves. After he had told me all his loose ends were tied, hence my decided relaxation over the issue of hanging out with her.
He doesn't blame her.
He tells her so.
He blames me.
The traitor.
And so our story endeth.
That's my side. All of it.
We didn't intend for this to happen.

Now you all know precisely what I am capable of. What sins I can and have committed, but know this. Every sin I commited was done with fine intentions. I didn't sleep with them out of mere lust. I slept with them because they appealed to me as people, because I wanted to please them.

And as wrong as it is that is the one part of this whole mess that makes me able to face what I have done this way. At no point has it been just for the sex. If that were the case I would never had had the strength to do what I have done in this post.
stasiss_levine:
huggs n kisses darlin.. hows everything going.. I havnt seen you online as of late maybee I will catch you when I get home.. talk to you soon.. huggs n kisses..Bye bye for now
~MaryAnne kiss miao!!
Mar 16, 2006

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