dannydmc

God, it was been way to long sinc this was last updated this thing; taking a quick look at my buddies list I see so many of the people I once knew on this site are now greyed out and gone. It had to be this way; there was no possible way for me to update over the past few months; I'm living in Alaska and the only internet source I have is at my school. Needless to say, SG is blocked on the filter and I really would not be comfortable being on this site in a school anyway.
So, for anyone out there who is still reading this, where am I in my life? The answer is is that I really don't know anymore. Things are much better than they were over the summer; I have a good paying job, a position which carries some respect, I'm financially secure, and I am happy to say that nearly all of my friends have been very successful in their lives so far.
And yet. And yet, I can not help but feel a gnawing question need in my belly most of the time. I really don't believe that I was ever made to me a good High School teacher. Can I be a decent one? Yes; the same way someone who is fascinated by wood carving can turn out products of decent quality even if he has no inate skill in the task. But is it something which fill me with joy? Not really.
I knew this last year, actually, after student teaching. But the chaos of the summer forced me to take a leap; and into Kipnuk, AK that leap took me. And it wasn't a made move. As I said, the pay is great, I've made some good friends and mentors(my principle and me are very close, for instance) but I still feel as if this is not what I should be doing with my life.
Of course, if not this, then what? I love politics and I want to become involved in it someday. That means that my best bet might be to attempt to get a law degree; but I'm really unsure if I have a love of the law. Lord knows, I hate rules as it is; why should I want to be the poor bastard enforcing them? What I truly love is History; Wisconsin History, the history of the Germanic and Celtic peoples, Church history and so forth. I also love the old myths and literature of those peoples and times. But, can I manage to get myself into politics as a History Professor? I doubt it. And could I raise a family on the salery of such a position? I don't know. Of course, judging from my dating life recently(haven't had one in two years) I may well not have to worry about the family for some time to some.
The worst part is that I keep looking back to the last tiem when I felt utterly confident in myself and content with life; my last year at college before student teaching. There was a strength to my personality then which was gratifying; one which has been greatly woudned by the trials and tribulations of the last few years. I know it will reemerge once this little identity crisis has come to an end, but who knows when that will be? I just realized recently that I've been away from my college for nearly two years now. Two years! Am I the type of person who will always look back on the past and the glory pays of yore while disparging what is currently happening? Lord I hope not.