so i try not to get to heavy on this blog thing .. but today is going to be a bit different because I'm not sure that every thing will be okay. Two days ago a dog that i was dog sitting got out of the yard while i was opening the garage door. The dog isn't really used to me so as she ran and when i called after her my calls had no effect she just ran faster. All i kept thinking was shit i fucked up i should have made sure i had checked to see if the dog was near me before i opened the garage. I was actually really scared. I ran as fast as a could after the dog but she just ran faster. So i just tried to be patient with the dog. I called her name so sweetly. But she wouldn't come she preferred running around through people's yards. I felt sooo hopeless.
I feel that same sense of hopelessness now like my life is running away from me and it won't come back no matter how sweetly i call its name.
I've been in vermont for two years now, and i'm on the verge of failing out of school. The university of vermont put me on probation, but i have been doing pretty badly regardless.(one of the more steady things in my college life = bad grades) The irony is that all my professors and other important people on campus have formed a coalition to keep me in school, because they believe i can do the work. I believe i can do it too. In fact, since notice of securing a second chance i have been sooo excited about really showing the university what i can do. But as it usually does.......the plot THICKENS.
Today i decided to check up on my financial aid package.... i called student financial services and asked them if there was some type of delay, they replied with news that made my hear sink to six feet below the ground. They told me i am no long eligible for financial aid. GRRRRRRRRR How the fuck am i supposed to come up with $14,000+ to pay for this semester!? iono but that seems virtually impossible at this point.
All these things compounded by the fact that my mother is completely apathetic toward my struggles and is not offering me the support i need to get through this. i don't blame her. i am a bit of a loser..but this is only a recent development. I've been virtually perfect my whole life until i got to college.
oh boi... this is to much i'll just stop there. This is getting too emotional
I feel that same sense of hopelessness now like my life is running away from me and it won't come back no matter how sweetly i call its name.
I've been in vermont for two years now, and i'm on the verge of failing out of school. The university of vermont put me on probation, but i have been doing pretty badly regardless.(one of the more steady things in my college life = bad grades) The irony is that all my professors and other important people on campus have formed a coalition to keep me in school, because they believe i can do the work. I believe i can do it too. In fact, since notice of securing a second chance i have been sooo excited about really showing the university what i can do. But as it usually does.......the plot THICKENS.
Today i decided to check up on my financial aid package.... i called student financial services and asked them if there was some type of delay, they replied with news that made my hear sink to six feet below the ground. They told me i am no long eligible for financial aid. GRRRRRRRRR How the fuck am i supposed to come up with $14,000+ to pay for this semester!? iono but that seems virtually impossible at this point.
All these things compounded by the fact that my mother is completely apathetic toward my struggles and is not offering me the support i need to get through this. i don't blame her. i am a bit of a loser..but this is only a recent development. I've been virtually perfect my whole life until i got to college.
oh boi... this is to much i'll just stop there. This is getting too emotional
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P.S.: Maybe the dog wanted to play and you played the game by running after him?
Now for the pep talk: nose to grindstone, candle at both ends, burn late night oil...blah, blah, blah.
I hope you find a solution, in the end it is worth it.