dangemb

woke up hating the world this morning. I haven't been this cross in i dont know how long.
this is weird because im not the kinda guy that really gets upset from dreams, usually i take control and im good and wake up no worse for the wear...

well last night i had a dream about an ex girlfriend. possibly the only one i ACTUALLY was in love with... and the weird thing... we haven't dated in almost 10 years. and i haven't heard from her in about 4 years. so i haven't thought about her..
but in my dream i ran into her and it was as real as the first day i met her. i couldn't take control of the dream or subconsciously didn't want to. and woke up felling downright miserable and hating everyone including myself

and yeah its kinda lost love sappy retarded feelings. but this was the first love, and when i went in the army she was telling me she would wait for me.and she loved me 3 months later she was married to another guy... so i guess shes also kinda my personal judas in a matter of speaking. one of the big reasons i am so jaded now days. and its also made me realize why ive been single the past 3 years.I just cant find a quality girl. and its making me want to go all hermit again, major purge my facebook etc.

god i feel like shit