dane_valek

You know who you are (though you'll probably never read this):

I had a dream about you last night. Not anything new by any means.It's the latest in a series of dreams where the last piece of this unfinished puzzle falls into place. We met at the Coffee shop, as you were in town for your sisters wedding. It was instantaneous. We both knew instinctively that there was no reason to lie about it anymore. We were right for each other before, and thats just as true now as it ever was. We both knew that we never wanted to leave each others sight ever again. It didn't matter where we were, what we were doing, just as long as we were both there, embracing each others company. The top of the eiffel tower, the pits of hell. It didn't matter. We were happy with the simplicity of each other. Very much how I've always felt. Very much the way I want it to be again. Then I woke up, and wanted to die. I never wanted that dream to end. I never wanted us to be apart again, even if it was just a dream. I'm sorry I couldn't let go of the past, I'm sorry I couldn't have done it all correctly. I tried to rationalize it, I tried to give it up. I couldn't. Maybe these constant dreams are some sort of wake up call that I need to let go of the past, but I can't Every time I see your sister at the coffee shop, I see you. I feel you, I feel a little pain in my stomach. You're too fucking far away, and it's my fault for having my head up my ass. I had my happiness, and I let it go. Now all I've got are dreams.

I'm sorry.

I know you hate it when I say that, but I mean it more than I ever meant it before. This time, it was my fault. Now I'm too ashamed that I let it fall apart to try again. Maybe the dreams are a push towards getting myself together. Maybe I'll just take the dreams.