dancekitchen

mom and gary(step-dad) always smoked and that was no big deal. they were so nice when they were stoned.

So i was about 8, playing G.I.Joe in my backyard with my friend Paul (also 8). we found a bag of hypodermic needles buried under a berry bush. we thought it was the coolest thing. like in the movies. We ran inside to show my Mom and she was very surprised. she took the bag and that was it. i never saw the bag again and if i asked about it she'd say she couldn't remember it or change the subject. "David, HAha!(angry laugh) i've had a hard day. Why don't you give me a break?" stuff like that, but it worked. she always got her way, otherwise she might start crying if she wasn't drunk or stoned. she was mostly a pleasant alcoholic. if i wanted something or a favor i would wait till around 6 or 7 at night and i almost always find her happily drunk.
so years later, i'm about 12 and my sister Michelle is around 9 we're spending some summer vacation at our Aunt Della's, my mom's sister. Mom and Dad said they wanted a vacation from us.
a couple weeks go by and michelle tells me what's really going on. she found out from della that mom and gary decided to quit "some drugs" cold-turkey. i'm like, alright, thinking they were trying to quit pot or drinking. i didn't know. michelle was upset because she found out we might have to stay with della. my mom asked della if she could take care of us while they kicked their habit. della said she would. this freaked me out a little too. i didn't want to change schools and lose my friends, especially paul. i didn't really take it serious til i heard it from my aunt. i was sick of mom and dad's temper and weird mood swings. they never beat us, but most of the time there was this rivalry mood between gary and i. i hated it. he was always proving that he was better than me at everything. typical, but still miserable. and mom was usually in extreme moods. really nice and loving, or deeply sad and crying, HAPPY or just fucking angry for no real reason. i loved spending the night at paul's house or anywhere else.
a couple weeks go by and mom and dad show up. mom tells me evrything i already knew from michelle, plus some. She says they "quit everything." i actually ask if she quit pot, cigarettes and drinking. "well not that," she says. she starts crying. i was so uncomfortable. not sad. just embarassed that my mom is kneeling down crying in my face in broad daylight in my aunt della's driveway right in my face. "we quit the hard suff," she sobs.
"what? what stuff?"
she says thay we on all sorts of things, "angel *sobs*dust, glass, crsyal" she keeps crying. gary is right behind her. he's even upset. but not at me or anyone. just crying.
my voice cracks. "okay."
"you didn't know?" mom cried.
"no."
still crying, "but i'm always so crazy?!"
"but that's how you always are?" i said.
she cried a lot more after i said that.

then they asked us if we still loved them. i think they even said something about going to church with us instead of just sending us. and they asked us the big, "do you still want to live with us?" question. michelle didn't care about they're problems ahe just missed mom. i want to move in to my grandma's place, but i couldn't say it.
so we went home.

that year we had a good christmas. they're guilt spoiled the hell out of us.

later we found out they were doing coke and meth too.