damonicus

well, I've had good luck about not going out on cleanup jobs. I have missed the last 3. So I've just been doing my regular job. It consists of me sitting in a trailer out at the main gate, I monitor a camera system that it mounted on a tower thats a couple hundred feet high. it's pretty high speed. It has infra-red which is really cool, but it kinda messes with me because i always want to turn on my infra-red vision when it's dark. In fact I had a dream a few days ago that I was walking through the woods at night, and it started getting dark, so I just flipped on the I.R. pretty cool dream, being able to see in the dark rocks. Last night kind of sucked, I was watching the camera when I heard a detonation in the distance so I focused the camera out there, it was dark. On the radio I heard the voices of the unit out on patrol yelling about how they had been hit. I was trying to find them on camera but between the houses of baghdad and trees they were unviewable. It was very annoying knowing that they were there and perhaps hurt, and there was nothing I could do except try to see the invisible and listen to the radio, waiting to hear the name of someone i know be said in the context of them being injured or dead. I felt a terrible sense of dread and helplessness, quite unlike anything in my past experiences. My mission is supposed to change off of the camera, however I do not know what I will be doing instead, so it could be getting better, or worse for me. time will tell. I hope this is the only time I will ever feel so useless. on a good note it is almost christmas, this will be the third christmas I have spent overseas since I have been in the Army. I took the time to carefully pick out some good anime and a couple of new hackysacks for myself. Christmas is fun when you buy for yourself. so...here's to dreaming in Infra-Red and buying ones self exactly what he wants for christmas. have fun
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