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damned_out_loud

Canada

Member Since 2004

Followers 13 Following 50

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Tuesday Nov 28, 2006

Nov 28, 2006
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left this thing alone long enough... i suppose.
it comes and goes, and for the past few months, had definitely been in a phase of going. i think i'd been looking at it the wrong way, considering it to have more of a purpose than it does, or at least... a different purpose than it does.

my cats are so clueless. finicky, i guess. annoying, really.
one goes out, the other comes in. and then they want to switch every 10 minutes.
i can hear whichever one is outside from inside. wailing and wauling like it's the worst thing that they could possibly suffer, to be outside, despite it being their own choosing.
i can hear them from INSIDE, dammit.
FUCK! that's annoying.

life is sneaky.
it has a way of sneaking up on you, and sneaking past you, though rarely both at the same time, which i suppose is fortunate.
coming soon!:
a big change of life!
an information and testing session with the provincial government for a job where i get cursed, threatened and spit at for $20 an hour! and get free meals!
ohh, prison... will i remember your hard corners and hardened cons as i think i do?
doubtful. it's been a long time.
hell, will i even pass the 'session'? that's what i should concern myself with.

because god knows i didn't last time. pass, that is.
i totally failed the psych testing.
but if anyone ever failed anything legitimately,
with an excuse,
moreso... with a R E A S O N...
i did on that psych testing.
up in the north country at school... they'd just never seen anything like me.
so when they did...
and when the test asked me things like;
"do you sometimes think people are talking about you?"
"do people stop talking when you enter a room?"
"do you often feel people's eyes on you?"

i answered honestly, and i answered 'yes'.

crazy thing was, i wasn't crazy. it was happening. you could ask anyone.
although, i have thought for a long time that one of the craziest things a person can say, a huge tip-off that someone is unbalanced and out of control, is saying the phrase;
i'm not insane

anyway, dear journal,
time to take advantage of what is likely going to be limited time only internet access.
that means;
time for porn.

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