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damn_pretty

Portland, OR

Member Since 2003

Followers 38 Following 35

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Monday Jan 24, 2005

Jan 24, 2005
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I hate drunken sleep so much. But Saturday night I was so friggin wasted, and I crashed and I didn't sleep all that well. It was bad. Mostly because my head was racing with drunken thoughts, and emotions, and the latest fight that I had with Melissa. I don't know why I keep going back to her. I guess I'm tired of being lonely, and I want someone to need me, and want me. And it hurts that I am so replaceable. But, I'm finding out that I really am... But at least I'm standing my ground, and being strong and not returning her calls, or answering her calls.. in fact my phone has been turned off for 2 days straight now to ignore her. I turned it on only this morning to get the text messages I knew she would leave when she tried calling, all 5 of them, deleted them without replying, then deleted her voicemails too... It's hard.. but I'm holding my own. I want to stop feeling so frustrated, and I want to stop crying of this dumb bitch. And letting her tear me down, and constantly make me feel like I'm worthless.. Cause I'm not any of those things. I may not be a great person, but I don't deserve all that.

Anyway.. uh, I got a sound soother, and had great sleep last night. I went to bed with the soothing sounds of loons. Who knows what tonight will be, possibly the ocean.

Alright, I'm out guys.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
mct:
You are a great person ... all your friends on here think so ... and I'm sure there are lots of people out there who think the same thing. I'm the same way though ... sometimes it just takes someone saying something nice about me for me to realize I'm a decent guy. *HUGS* Hope you're doing better. smile
Jan 26, 2005
magnadolce:
The following is a universal posting to all those in my friends list...

So I'm sitting in class today and my mind is wandering to everywhere from the origin of the new and most popular culprit in poor health,"trans-fat" to why it is so hard for some people to realize that they should just make like lemmings... Anyways, I was also thinking of saying hello to my fellow SG peeps I have been removed from this past month, so HI!
As I am trying to expand my already gigantic library of music, I freely commission you to leave me the name of a band and/or a song or an album for me to check out. I would greatly appreciate it. Please no metal unless it's pre 1980. Thank you my friends. wink


PS ===> this is for all who have no idea what a MERKIN is... Enjoy!
Jan 26, 2005

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