Feelong utterly helpless lately. . . I'm tryinto stay strong, but the one person I felt I can lean on is the one who abandoned me. . . . I feel so alone. There are those who say let me know if you want to talk, but they aren't even open or available. It is my fault for being so closed off. I can acknowledge that, but it makes it so hard. I jave sheltered myself from my emotuons for so long that it may be a torent stronger than I can handle a definitely for others. This is the hole I've dug. . . . Let see if I can get out of it.

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