My weekend in a nutshell:
Friday - First day off of four. I sleep in until 2:00 PM, which was nice, since the night before I was out drinking PBR with my friends until 2:30 that morning. Do absolutely nothing until I realize that I have nothing to do that night.
Go to Target to return a goofy ass Simpson's shirt that I bought, so I can have drinking money. Make my way to El Presidente in Vancouver (Washington), which is one of my regular establishments. Instead of going for my usual La Conzuela (a water pitcher full of rum, vodka, tequilla, grapefruit juice, orange juice, and grenadine with the straw in the pitcher) I opt for some Corona.
Later that night, my buds show up, and I am on my 4th Corona already, and having not eaten anything, I am feeling it. We stay until closing, and all in all, I had a dozen bottles of Corona. I damn near tripped over my own feet and landed in a near by blondes' lap (I guess her boyfriend was none to pleased, but backed off when my buds got in his face).
My friend Sean takes me home in his pick up. He tells me he will call me for a band party out in Fisher's Landing, with beer, booze, and women. Cool.
Saturday - I wake up at 1:30 PM. Again, I do nothing, but set up the house for Christmas. Damn near fell down the attic ladder/stairs carrying a box that has a 6 1/2 ft. fake tree. Livid, I kicked over a stack of books and magazines that have been stored in my garage.
Saturday night, no call. My friend Andrew calls and says "Hey, let's hang out, and go to El Prez." Ok, so I make my way BACK to El Presidente on Saturday night. Andrew buys the first round, but damn near passes out . It seems he is on this new medication.
Andrew ends up leaving me, and the manager says, since no one was singing karaoke yet, "Hey, if you put up a song, I'll buy you a brewski." Can't pass up free beer, so I put up the Ramones "I Wanna Be Sedated."
I have on a t-shirt that reads "YOU SUCK" on the front, and I officially became the "You Suck" guy. It's my turn to sing, people have already bought me 5 more bottles of Corona (this makes seven I've had now in 2 hours). I do a fairly decent job of that, but the crowd just applauds me like hell. I stumble back to my seat.
20 minutes later, I am called up to sing again. "Sad But True" by Metallica. Again, decent job, and again, a thunderous ovation. Why am I so damn popular tonight????
About that time, my friend Barry shows up and takes me out to the 9 Ball Sports Bar in NE Portland. 9 Ball is my favorite place....I get PBR pints for $1.
My friends Shelley, Deb, Sherri, Trish, and others I cannot remember, are all there. They want me to sing too.
Somehow I managed to talk Barry into buying me a pitcher of PBR, which I drank and drank, and drank and drank. I sang "I want you to want me" by Cheap Trick, which had the crowd there at 9 Ball just going crazy over. I even had them singing the end chorus.
I'm still drinking the pitcher when some dude comes over and wants me to sing "Ode to my Car." I give in after he buys me a pint of PBR (by this time I am really drunk, Barry has left, and I have no way of getting back to Vancouver).
I sing the song, get some laughs, a load ovation again. The DJ christens me the "You Suck Guy" (again!?)
2:30 hits, I am out talking with my friend Cain. In my drunken stupor I managed to realize that he looks beat up. I am ready to kick some ass now, only to find out that he did it snowboarding. Whoops!
3:00 AM Deb, Sherri, Shelley and I all ride over to the San Rafael Sherri's on NE 122nd Ave. Don (the dude who bought me the pint at 9-Ball) said he would meet us there. A friend of ours, Dennis was there.
Shelley was upset, for some reason, so she asked to use my cell phone. She came back 10 minutes later, looked more upset, and walked off.
After 20 minutes, Deb (Shelley's sister) gets paranoid. Deb has no keys to get into the house, and Shelley is nowhere to be found. Deb takes me out into the parking lot area, and we walk around looking for Shelley. No sign of her.
20 minutes after that, Deb goes off, on her own looking for her. Then Deb disappears. Sherri wanted me to go look for her, then she said, "Wait, no, Mikey might come up missing too. What the hell is this, the Twilight Zone?!?!"
4:00 AM rolls around, and I am pissed off, sober, and ready to stay until whenever the busses started running (Shelley was also my ride home), when low and behold, Shelley shows up. Turns out she was in the parking lot the whole time talking to Don in his car. 5 minutes later Deb shows up, she had been talking to a lady who's friends ditched her!
Ok, 4:45 AM, Deb. Shelley and I are on i-205 going the backway to my house. I start breaking out into some stupid song, and Deb and Shelley are talking about Shelley's now Ex-boyfriend. I'm still singing incoherantly.
5:00 AM we arrive at my house. I stumble out of the car, land face first in the driveway. I'm still singing, I don't care. Shel comes out of the car to get me, and I am already standing near my car, asleep. She just lets me be.
5:15 AM, I walk in the house, and trip over the dog. I fall right on the floor....the dog falls right onto my rib cage. OUCH!
6:00 AM after sleeping on the floor for 45 minutes, I make my way to my room. I close the door, and fall asleep.
Sunday - Slept, watched football, slept again, and got online. Fun day.
Today - Did the dishes, did some laundry, and tried to clean the house. No success on that.
Tomorrow - Back to work at 3:30 PM.
Friday - First day off of four. I sleep in until 2:00 PM, which was nice, since the night before I was out drinking PBR with my friends until 2:30 that morning. Do absolutely nothing until I realize that I have nothing to do that night.
Go to Target to return a goofy ass Simpson's shirt that I bought, so I can have drinking money. Make my way to El Presidente in Vancouver (Washington), which is one of my regular establishments. Instead of going for my usual La Conzuela (a water pitcher full of rum, vodka, tequilla, grapefruit juice, orange juice, and grenadine with the straw in the pitcher) I opt for some Corona.
Later that night, my buds show up, and I am on my 4th Corona already, and having not eaten anything, I am feeling it. We stay until closing, and all in all, I had a dozen bottles of Corona. I damn near tripped over my own feet and landed in a near by blondes' lap (I guess her boyfriend was none to pleased, but backed off when my buds got in his face).
My friend Sean takes me home in his pick up. He tells me he will call me for a band party out in Fisher's Landing, with beer, booze, and women. Cool.
Saturday - I wake up at 1:30 PM. Again, I do nothing, but set up the house for Christmas. Damn near fell down the attic ladder/stairs carrying a box that has a 6 1/2 ft. fake tree. Livid, I kicked over a stack of books and magazines that have been stored in my garage.
Saturday night, no call. My friend Andrew calls and says "Hey, let's hang out, and go to El Prez." Ok, so I make my way BACK to El Presidente on Saturday night. Andrew buys the first round, but damn near passes out . It seems he is on this new medication.
Andrew ends up leaving me, and the manager says, since no one was singing karaoke yet, "Hey, if you put up a song, I'll buy you a brewski." Can't pass up free beer, so I put up the Ramones "I Wanna Be Sedated."
I have on a t-shirt that reads "YOU SUCK" on the front, and I officially became the "You Suck" guy. It's my turn to sing, people have already bought me 5 more bottles of Corona (this makes seven I've had now in 2 hours). I do a fairly decent job of that, but the crowd just applauds me like hell. I stumble back to my seat.
20 minutes later, I am called up to sing again. "Sad But True" by Metallica. Again, decent job, and again, a thunderous ovation. Why am I so damn popular tonight????
About that time, my friend Barry shows up and takes me out to the 9 Ball Sports Bar in NE Portland. 9 Ball is my favorite place....I get PBR pints for $1.
My friends Shelley, Deb, Sherri, Trish, and others I cannot remember, are all there. They want me to sing too.
Somehow I managed to talk Barry into buying me a pitcher of PBR, which I drank and drank, and drank and drank. I sang "I want you to want me" by Cheap Trick, which had the crowd there at 9 Ball just going crazy over. I even had them singing the end chorus.
I'm still drinking the pitcher when some dude comes over and wants me to sing "Ode to my Car." I give in after he buys me a pint of PBR (by this time I am really drunk, Barry has left, and I have no way of getting back to Vancouver).
I sing the song, get some laughs, a load ovation again. The DJ christens me the "You Suck Guy" (again!?)
2:30 hits, I am out talking with my friend Cain. In my drunken stupor I managed to realize that he looks beat up. I am ready to kick some ass now, only to find out that he did it snowboarding. Whoops!
3:00 AM Deb, Sherri, Shelley and I all ride over to the San Rafael Sherri's on NE 122nd Ave. Don (the dude who bought me the pint at 9-Ball) said he would meet us there. A friend of ours, Dennis was there.
Shelley was upset, for some reason, so she asked to use my cell phone. She came back 10 minutes later, looked more upset, and walked off.
After 20 minutes, Deb (Shelley's sister) gets paranoid. Deb has no keys to get into the house, and Shelley is nowhere to be found. Deb takes me out into the parking lot area, and we walk around looking for Shelley. No sign of her.
20 minutes after that, Deb goes off, on her own looking for her. Then Deb disappears. Sherri wanted me to go look for her, then she said, "Wait, no, Mikey might come up missing too. What the hell is this, the Twilight Zone?!?!"
4:00 AM rolls around, and I am pissed off, sober, and ready to stay until whenever the busses started running (Shelley was also my ride home), when low and behold, Shelley shows up. Turns out she was in the parking lot the whole time talking to Don in his car. 5 minutes later Deb shows up, she had been talking to a lady who's friends ditched her!
Ok, 4:45 AM, Deb. Shelley and I are on i-205 going the backway to my house. I start breaking out into some stupid song, and Deb and Shelley are talking about Shelley's now Ex-boyfriend. I'm still singing incoherantly.
5:00 AM we arrive at my house. I stumble out of the car, land face first in the driveway. I'm still singing, I don't care. Shel comes out of the car to get me, and I am already standing near my car, asleep. She just lets me be.
5:15 AM, I walk in the house, and trip over the dog. I fall right on the floor....the dog falls right onto my rib cage. OUCH!
6:00 AM after sleeping on the floor for 45 minutes, I make my way to my room. I close the door, and fall asleep.
Sunday - Slept, watched football, slept again, and got online. Fun day.
Today - Did the dishes, did some laundry, and tried to clean the house. No success on that.
Tomorrow - Back to work at 3:30 PM.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
jayne:
how late is that safeway open into the evenings?
0theamazingrando:
Dude those are the coolest glasses ever!