dahmer

Man. I really hate how the holidays go by these days with out a trace of the old joy they once had when I was a kid. It's like any wonder that the world once held has totally vanished. Even if I did get out and do some thing for Halloween this year, it just didn't FEEL like Halloween. In all reality, there really was no trace of the Holiday any where. Not on tv, not in homes, not in stores. I saw two jack-o-lanters this year, and no other decorations. But it's not just Halloween. Christmas goes by with absolutely no charm. You're lucky if you catch the old shows on tv during the season, like the old stop animation Rudolph movie, or the Frosty the Snowman cartoon they use to play. The malls have decorations, but they are slim and seem half hearted. No one takes the holiday seriously. Several years went by at my home with no tree and no decorations. The day becomes a chore and not a celebration. We get up later and later, with less and less enthusiasm (sp?) and its just not the same when we have to wait for mom to come over in stead of the family just getting up to open presents.

Maybe I'm just getting older, but it just feels like the world is losing all its charm. No one has any spirit left in them any more. Part of me sort of looks forward to a day when maybe I'll have kids of my own (thought I seriously dont feel that I qualify for father status) and I can live vicariously through them, to relive the joy that I feel is missing, and maybe get the sense of family that has been lost to me for so long.

*le sigh*