dah

I need somthing to happen to get me out of the mood I am in.

I have gotten upset at work twice this week already. I walked into the bathroom face all red, eyes puffy and the office manager was in there and her reaction was "What is wrong ("with concern"), you don't cry". And she is right. I will rarely cry in front of other people that are not family or very very close friends.

I am not enjoying much of anything at the moment. Everything is routine. The little things that I would be bothered by are annoying the shit out of me. I am sick of feeling like a maid in my own home, having to use my brain for others because they choose not to use theirs or don't have one.

I don't know what would make me feel better.

I miss being able to go out and buy something that I want. I wanted to buy some beads on saturday but I doubt that is going to happen. I will most likely end up cleaning my grandma's house for some extra cash.

I am having a massage on saturday, fingers crossed that helps me out. I can't really afford it but I know if I don't my neck will get worse and therefore I get a headache and become cranky.

I miss the way things were in our previous houses. I miss having my own bathroom, so if I didn't want to see or deal with other people I didn't have too. I don't hate having to share now I just miss locking myself in my room and not having to come out. Nothing felt like a chore or I was cleaning up after other people (I feel like I am always cleaning in this place). I am glad that I am not living in the other places but the vibe was different.

That will do for now. Think I might take Friday off. Maybe help mum out and be there if my dad needs me.