daevric

Every once in a while, I feel an intense, undirected, unrequited love. I don't know where it's from, or what it means, but I just sit here with this overwhelming feeling of "I love." I don't know how better to describe it. On one hand, it's intensely lonely, because it's only when I am the most completely alone that I feel it, but at the same time... maybe it gives me the strength to bear the solitude... maybe it simply helps reaffirm the decisions I've made to make me this way. Maybe those are one and the same.

It's times like these that I come within a hair's breadth of giving up any hope of finding a single love, someone to share my life with who understands and supports me, and I her. The infinitesimal odds that I could find someone as strong and independent as I need who would even look my way make me realize just how hopeless it is. I guess that, in no small way, this is another reason I teach. Every connection I make with a student is a touch of that unrequited love I have for humanity, and knowledge, and it helps me bear who I am for just a little longer. When I'm teaching, this feeling never comes, at least not this strongly, so that very well could be it.

Ah well. So I love hopelessly. Ignore my ranting--not like any of you care, or at least care to read it.

So, partially as a means of cheering myself up, but mainly as a reward for making it this far, I give you the cutest puppy ever (picture is way too big--right click and go to View Image, or whatever your browser's option is):