daekrys

fuck target, fuck target, fuck target, i walked out of the backroom, went to the bathroom, threw my workshirt and nametag in the toilet, and urinated on it, i would have shit on it too, 'cept i didn't have to at the time and didn't feel like waiting around to do so. reasoning: they schedualed me all the exact hours i told them that i couldn't work that week, cuz i had to finish my hours for the week at pizza hut. and i refuse to work with 3 retards and the rest foreigners that the only thing they remotely understand is numerals, which is all you have to know to unload the trucks. the shift lead is an drug addict or used to be of somesort, after being there for an hour i had the job down, and he was trying to tell me how to do things, which is cool since he was the shift lead, except that all 3 times he tried to correct me he realized that i was already doing it correctly, fucking moron. that whole fakey team spirit bullshit was enough to make me sick, at the end of the "huddle" we're all supposed to stretch, after i refused to, alex the manager took me aside and told me that i needed to participate or i could be written up for insubordination. what the fuck?! am i in god damned kindergarten again, i thought i was being paid to do a job, not learn how to baby sit retards and get involved with the community. just be happy i haven't taken a drunken shit on your porch, theres my contribution to society. i made $50 in tips tonight for 4 hours of work, and all i do is drive, and they love me there. everyone is friends. half the crew smokes pot. we have team spirit, that isn't faked or forced on us. half the crew is non/barely english speaking, but we all do our shit and get along. i really like it there, just wish i could find a second job with that kind of enviornment.

so i finally got a chance to really sit down and talk to heather, turns out she was pissed of at me, because when i get high, i get really quiet, and cannot concentrate for shit. she mistakes that for being pouty and pissy. she thought i was mad at her cuz when we were both sitting on a small chair i was pretty lightheaded and getting dizzy, so i went and sat on the couch, because it felt better. litterally my only thought at that moment was, i'm dizzy, i need to sit somewhere more stable or lay down or something. smoking is definetly not my thing, now drinking on the other hand, that just fucking rocks, gimme a case of beer and a carton of cigarettes and i'm happy and giddy, and joky, and touchy, and horny, and smily, and all kinds off good shit. but she also thinks that i expect her to spend all her freetime with me, which i don't, ya know maybe at least a few hours a week would be nice instead of her spending all her time with tyler and ricky smoking pot. i mean shit, if i wanted to be lonely i'd just go back to being single. but i'm given it a try, it's only been like a month anyways, hopefully the best comes out of it.

a lady from sprint called me today about paying my phone bill, told her probably in a couple weeks, sue is paying my insurance and truck payment this month. and all my other bills are past due, and i owe the bank like $500. when did i get so far behind, in 6 months, i've gone from having $700 in the bank to $2000 in debt. i hate depending on sue so much, and anyone else that buys me food when when we go out to eat and things like that. i used to be the one treating everyone, i liked it better that way.

i miss my labre piercings, i never shoulda taken those out. and it'll be another 3 years before my hair is long like it used to be, i really don't like my hair before it's long enough to put into a ponytail, can't do anything with it.

here's me working towards a better future, if the present isn't suited to my wishes, and the past is simply everything i want to forget.