I quit my job this morning, told Bonnie that last night was my last, but that if she wanted i would finish out friday and saturday, but that i refuse to work with the bitch Julie who blatently ignores any work related question I have....and she's a fuckin shift lead. she gives me the silent treatment when i do something that pisses her off. well fuck her, she wins this one, i quit, but thats ok, i never liked the job in the first place. Bonnie said that it was all good and that i can still use her as a referance, so the last 2 years i spent there haven't been a waste. worst part is i haven't official secured another job yet, and i'm $900 in debt, but thats ok too, shit'll work itself out.
i forget when my account expires, the 9th i think, meh, we'll see sone enough.
i had some truck driver at work last night tellin me horrible football jokes, i just faked a smile and nodded my head. but then he said the oddest thing out of no where. "we're all just faceless, nameless entities, wandering around not caring, because it's all someone elses problem." he then follwed it up with, "what's the difference between the green bay packers and the taliban? A: at least the taliban has a good running game." what he said just struck something in me though, not something that i would expect to hear from that kinda guy. it just got me thinkin, is it really better to avoid other people as i always have and not give two shits about anything, including myself? allowing myself to just drift along. it makes me want to grab my life by the balls and make something out of the nothing that i am, problem is that when your a retard like i am, you have no idea how to go about doing that. like i know that i could do great things, just when i think about what or how, my brain craps out. like when i try to think along the lines of how the universe started,
so it all came from the big bang or god or whatever, but where did that come from, where is the starting point? it's just not possible for my feeble mind to comprehend any of it.
so i fall back and do as i always have, tremble in the shadow of someone else's greatness, feeding off their scraps.
...and i pass into dust, returning to the place from which i came, forgotten by the world, forsaken by my god...
i forget when my account expires, the 9th i think, meh, we'll see sone enough.
i had some truck driver at work last night tellin me horrible football jokes, i just faked a smile and nodded my head. but then he said the oddest thing out of no where. "we're all just faceless, nameless entities, wandering around not caring, because it's all someone elses problem." he then follwed it up with, "what's the difference between the green bay packers and the taliban? A: at least the taliban has a good running game." what he said just struck something in me though, not something that i would expect to hear from that kinda guy. it just got me thinkin, is it really better to avoid other people as i always have and not give two shits about anything, including myself? allowing myself to just drift along. it makes me want to grab my life by the balls and make something out of the nothing that i am, problem is that when your a retard like i am, you have no idea how to go about doing that. like i know that i could do great things, just when i think about what or how, my brain craps out. like when i try to think along the lines of how the universe started,
so it all came from the big bang or god or whatever, but where did that come from, where is the starting point? it's just not possible for my feeble mind to comprehend any of it.
so i fall back and do as i always have, tremble in the shadow of someone else's greatness, feeding off their scraps.
...and i pass into dust, returning to the place from which i came, forgotten by the world, forsaken by my god...