daekrys

I was in a relationship with a girl named serena, for almost 3 years, 1 1/2 of which i lived with her, after that went sour, i moved to hopkins. almost a month later, i began dating markeya, that lasted 2 years and 8 months. she practically lived with me. when we first broke up, disregarding the heart shattering circumstances which surronded it, i thought it was cool. you know, i'm single, a free man, i can do what i want, no one to answer to, and so on and such. but now...i just feel utterly alone. i mean, i don't want to go back out with her because things down that road have been completely blown to shit. and i have a few good friends to hang out, but it doesn't fill that void i've been left with.when i look back at it i wish that i would have waited to get into serious relationships, because i never got a chance to learn how to react around girls that i like. i got set up with serena, and markeya practically asked me out. now i have no idea what i'm doing. but shit goes on. one day at a time. how pathetic is this. how pathetic is it that i said this was pathetic. i'll be better tomorrow, it's only when i get alone like right now, no plans for later, no one out there thinking about me. whatever would happen at the end of the day i could always count on markeya making time with me, didn't have to worry about callin her, or if i was interupting anything. if i needed a hug, or to be intamite, or someone to just be in the same room with me. but no, she fucks someone else, but she said it's ok, not a big deal, it's just sex. its only physical...... WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!? its not just sex. if that were the case we coulda just been friends and been fucking other people this whole god damned time. 2 people is all that i have been with, serena cuz i thought i was in love, turns out i was just too young, too retarded. but i did love markeya, i gave up a lot for her, changed the way i did things, quit hangin out with people she didn't like, she wanted something? she had it, i spent more money on her then on myself, blew off other people for her. and things i can't even describe. i hate this place i'm in.

on a good note...

My friend josh's new puppy