d20

today at work an odd rule of sci fi was discovered: alien men are repulsed by earth women, but alien women are all about the earth cock.

dave, ken and i wracked our nerdy brains for exceptions to this rule...

worf and troi? nope. betazoid.

worf and jadzia dax? technically no... the symbiote shared her consciousness, so she wasn't fully human.

data and tasha yar? nope. not only was data not an alien, but even if he were organic he'd have had human parents anyways (if you can safely assume that Soong's wife was human).

even if you try jabba the hutt and leia it was likely a physical impossibility.

then look at the other side.

kirk... yeah. no explanation needed.

riker wasn't that badass on enterprise, but look at his history. stationed on Betazed, then two tours on starships... lower class starships are basically the youth hostels of the future. he was hitting it like it owed him money.

the ultimate though is tucker and t'pol. seriously. a pure blood vulcan giving it up to a texan... that's how hot earthlings get alien chicks. if he can do that, any nerd on the planet could have a pet bajoran.

it turns out though that there is an exception: Starman.

that's right, jeff bridges is the only alien male we could think of that would come within spitting distance of a human woman.

well, him and jim carrey, jeff goldblum, and damon wayans, but in dave's words "fuck, if earth girls are easy doesn't count as a movie - and it doesn't, it blew - then those jokers don't count as aliens that would sleep with an earth chick".

it was eventually posited that maybe the entire catalog of sci fi has been written around the idea that nerdy guys should at least be given the impression that someone, somewhere in the universe would sleep with them (as well as the corollary that alien guys aren't competition, and therefore nerds need not feel that their already slim chances with earth girls are being threatened). i, for one, think it's entirely likely.



edit: fucking shaw cable ass hell shit. my cable went out at 1pm yesterday (yes, i was at work, but i was vnc'd into my home box) and stayed out all night. my connection just came back, and what arrives five minutes after it turns back on? why, the email notification for my cable bill of course. injury, i'd like you to meet insult, you two may as well get comfy.