cyrano

I sent the fuckface boyfriend this letter... Tell me, is it too much?


I can recall vividly, that night when I was sitting in your apartment, your mother across from me and you to my right. I watched you open your mouth as you said to her, Me and F-eh You paused and looked over in my direction and continued, You should be happy I confused your name with someone I used to love and care about so much.

I was ecstatic.

Of course I am being modest. I wont mention the night of watching you wrap your fingers around Girl As hair and running them gently down Girl Bs cheek soon after. And I wont dare speak of the grin I will never forget. Why bother reliving the moments of Girl C or D and sometimes E?

Because if you wanted to, you could.

Then there came the ill-fated three. Who am I? Oh yes dear, I forgot. A word is just a word and it has nothing to do with how you truly feel about me. But never make the mistake of telling me I will become eternal once you immortalize me with words.

Whats next?

Oh yes. The phone call. No, not that one silly. Not yet, anyway. I chose Door #2 because the prize was easier to believe. Sure it was the electricity that made you upset, sure.

Clearance to move ahead two days into the past?

Youre lucky you have a cool girlfriend. I just like to keep my relationships out of the lime-light. And I dont regret anything I say because ultimately, it is always what should be said. So when I said to you I thought it was all bullshit, oh my dear, it was all sincere. And no, not the DJ whose number you got to try and hook up. Oh yea, Im lucky you let it slide?! Im fucking lucky you let it slide???!!!! I think its about time you took a second look at whats written above.

Thanks, buddy.

Now the present. What is present time anyway? Maybe you can explain it all to me one day. How were all living for the future but its all bullshit anyway since the future inevitable becomes the past.

Hmm, let me see here. You take the time out to notify me that your ex-girlfriend (that you gave yourself completely to and loved only five short months ago and would have given anything to have her back) and I (the present girlfriend who thinks its all bullshit and youll probably leave me in a month or two because youll soon realize youre still in love with her- duh, thats why youre still bitter) have similar voices. Wow, well isnt that the icing on the cake.

You only have candles left, mister.

These moments dont shape our relationship. What are you talking about, silly? Just a bunch of words you clumsily stumbled over. Oh dear, I think you need to take some speech classes next semester to clear up this problem. Because sooner or later, oh no, that funny little Bukowski poem will come to life and then whatll happen?

Oops.

Really honey, if all you can offer me is your words, you arent doing a very good job of it.

- The mistaken little girl

PS. Just for kicks, while you were out getting drunk trying to forget, I was in bed remembering remembering oh yes, remembering. Hope you had fun. *Kisses*