cypher

"Understanding does not cure evil, but it is a definite help, inasmuch as one can cope with a comprehensible darkness." -Jung

Omnia vincit amor.

"Not Hercules could have could have knocked out his brains, for he had none"


I was born at 6:10pm.
I changed my name at age 24.
I got my tattoo that same year.
I had a major depressive episode when I was 28.
I have been in love thrice.
Heather. Jaime O., and Jaime A.
H is insane. JO is married to some loser, and...
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"(This) is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing"

More Shakespeare. And so appropriate.

I had din-din with an old friend last night whom I helped counsel through the decline of her marriage. Her divorce just came through not too long ago, and she wanted to thank me for me for "being there". I think she'll be fine.
It...
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"You act with great imagination proper to madmen"

Quoting Shakespeare is the best I can do today.
I'm tired.
Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually.
bah. poo. bing. pow.

I love Jaime. I wish I did not.
I admire/lust Dia. I wish I did not.
I crush on demolitionkitten.
At least I'm getting something right.

Solisis is having a rough time of it. He's a great guy....
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Ars longa, vita brevis

"The more critical reason dominates, the more impoverished life becomes; but the more of the unconscious, and the more of myth we are capable of making conscious, the more of life we integrate. Overvalued reason has this in common with political absolutism: under its dominion the individual is pauperized." - Jung

That is the mood of the day. The week. Mebbe...
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fuck.

i just had some tapioca. now it's coffee time. i might run later. my day is completely open.

fuck.

i'm only human. i do screw stuff up. i try to live truthfully. i feel. i love. i hate. i try not to place limits.

sometimes we need them.

fuck.

I had deviled eggs as part of my lunch and now my stomach is complaining.
Deviled eggs is tasty!
I am supposed to run tonight.
Where is that confound demolitionkitten?
Hard week at work. Frustrating...
I need a massage. I deserve one!

"You're dangerous 'cause you're honest
You're dangerous, you don't know what you want
Well you left my heart empty as a vacant lot...
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Sea of sin
I'm swimming in
And I'm taking a dive
My mind's in need
So my body feeds
And it keeps me alive
It gets better and better
As it gets wetter and wetter

Sea of sin
Know where you've been
But I don't care

Sea of sin
Through thick and thin
For better or worse
My mind's in need
So my body feeds...
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Here's another sunday morning call
Yer hear yer head-a-banging on the door
Slip your shoes on and then out you crawl
Into a day that couldn't give you more
But what for?

And in your head do you feel
What you're not supposed to feel
You take what you want
But you won't get it for free
You need more time
Cos your thoughts and...
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Short-Ass Sabbatical Over.
(prematurely?)

I am done with this.
My mood is again placid.
I was putting importance on fleeting things.
I wish it were not so.

I knew better.
Yet I would have given it all. Like a dope.

Hell hath no fury....

Shreds of hope? Come on.
You gotta give love to receive it.
I don't play games.
I will chase no one....
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What is that saying?...
Things always look darkest before the dawn. (?) Something like that.

Hey Kids!
("Hey Uncle Cypher!")
I have decided to take a short sabbatical from the cypherjournal.
With the help of Solisis, who has been an amazingly good friend in the short time I've known him, I have had an epiphany of sorts.
Recently I hurt someone without meaning to. Someone...
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I am really, really enjoying the new Oasis album, "Heathen Chemistry". I feel really good about having came out and said that. A tremendous weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I think it took a lot of courage to do that.
I'm all about courage. Yes I am.
On a serious note, if I may take up my own time and space to say...
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