cynicus

I've been somewhat detached as of late. Haven't had straight thoughts to compose anything. Maybe it's just the season, maybe it's me. I don't know. Life has been very hard, hadn't had a job in a long time, and money is running out. I had to borrow $10 from a friend just so I could put a few gallons of gas in the car so I could go get a seasonal job. I am sinking slowly, and there isn't a whole lot of hope for getting back up in the near future. Some ass in the Fed says "the Recession is over! Yay!" and they have no idea. No idea. Millions of people like me are still out of work and there are no new jobs to replace them. The only reason I am eating right now is because I got food stamps. My rent nearly didn't get paid, and I almost didn't get my electric paid either. But the yahoos up above don't give a shit. They just want their moment in the spotlight, and brush us off their shoe.

I am bitter. I am angry. I am depressed.

I am beginning to know what my dad talked about all the time when he talked about growing up in the Depression. It's a humbling moment when you have to swallow your pride and ask for help from people because you can't do it on your own. It's one thing to ask people to help you move, or paint a house. It's another to ask for money. It hurts to admit you couldn't cut it on your own, even if it wasn't your fault you lost your job. When the businesses that once made your community are all gone, and the lines for unemployment and food stamps grow longer every day, and the papers have fewer and fewer job postings. There are probably near 20% or more of the local stores in the area that aren't even hiring Christmas help, and another 40% hiring less than 5 extra people.

All our industry went south of the border or to China. And our tax money bailed out the jerks who sought only profit and bonuses and didn't give a concern at all for accountability. After we bailed GM out now they are selling shares of their company to China and the Middle East. And all the time it's Americans that are going out of work and have to scrounge to feed themselves and their families. People losing their homes while the big fat cats on Wall Street pat themselves on the back for getting bailed out and take home a big bonus because they saved the company from bankruptcy.

And here I am, don't know where the next rent check is coming from, or if I can put gas in my car, or pay for my heat in the upcoming winter.

I have little hope that the new class coming in will actually do anything, but that's a moot point since it's still two months off. And in that time I still won't have money. So I haven't been feeling it much to write anything more than another rant about the state of our nation and the lack of stability in it.

So I am pretty down in the dumps and not very creative at the moment. Hope you'll forgive me for not writing anything inspirational right now.