Well The meeting the other night was boring as fuck as usual. Got free food. but it wasn't worth the damn trip. Oh well can't do shit about it. its part of the job i guess.
Me and blaire are doing ok but are having a few minor differences. But we are doing good to talk through them. A large apart of it is the fact that i am VERY used to dating girls who are usually mean to me and yell at me alot and blame me for everything. So when Blaire starts talking about things going on with her and things she is upset about. I am so used to being blamed for everything and being made that everything is my fault. That i read into what she is saying things that aren't there and i automatically assume that its MY fault that she is feeling that way or that things are the way they are. So what should be just her talking to me about why she is feeling a certain way. Turns into me getting upset and turns into a bit of a fight. I reallised this all walking home last night and couldn't believe i was doing this not only to her but to myself. I am like sabatoging an amazing relationship and i don't even realise it. So i am going to do my best to NOT assume its all on me or all my fault. I will actually LISTEN to what Blaire has to say and talk about it. I can't lie. It seems easy but it will be hard. 8 or so years of being conditioned by almost every major relationship i have ever had to believe that everything that goes wrong is MY fault is gonna be hard to break out of.
On a fully POSITIVE note with us. Saturday night i am taking her out for a Birthday Celebration. I am taking her out.... oh wait i want it to be a surprise and she has an SG account... I'll tell everyone about it on sunday or monday
but needless to say it will be an AMAZING night and i am gonna treat her like no other 
Me and blaire are doing ok but are having a few minor differences. But we are doing good to talk through them. A large apart of it is the fact that i am VERY used to dating girls who are usually mean to me and yell at me alot and blame me for everything. So when Blaire starts talking about things going on with her and things she is upset about. I am so used to being blamed for everything and being made that everything is my fault. That i read into what she is saying things that aren't there and i automatically assume that its MY fault that she is feeling that way or that things are the way they are. So what should be just her talking to me about why she is feeling a certain way. Turns into me getting upset and turns into a bit of a fight. I reallised this all walking home last night and couldn't believe i was doing this not only to her but to myself. I am like sabatoging an amazing relationship and i don't even realise it. So i am going to do my best to NOT assume its all on me or all my fault. I will actually LISTEN to what Blaire has to say and talk about it. I can't lie. It seems easy but it will be hard. 8 or so years of being conditioned by almost every major relationship i have ever had to believe that everything that goes wrong is MY fault is gonna be hard to break out of.
On a fully POSITIVE note with us. Saturday night i am taking her out for a Birthday Celebration. I am taking her out.... oh wait i want it to be a surprise and she has an SG account... I'll tell everyone about it on sunday or monday
but needless to say it will be an AMAZING night and i am gonna treat her like no other VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
and all that that implies!