cyberiouse

Well no new news. I haven't heard much back from that girl Vee all week. I'm starting to think i WAS stood up I hate this. I have been stood up for more dates than actual dates i have been out on (HS dating doesn't count lol) I have more female friends than male and none of them can understand how i get stood up so often. My last count. in the last 2 years. I have been stood up with little or no explaination..... at least 12 times. Thats not counting when a girl would stand me up and then give me an excuse and make plans for a redo on the date and stood me up.... it just fucking pisses me off. WHY? why the fuck do i get stood up so often? Hell some of them i have straight out ASKED why and of course i have never gotten a fucking answer.............

So outside of my bitching nothing major in life has happened. I haven't gotten to see Dark Knight yet cause of work but i plan on seeing it tomorrow during the day so there shouldn't be to much of a problem with crowds or selling out.

So....... I am trying to ... i guess figure out something in not just my life but in the world in general............. As a few of you may know. I am pretty much an Athiest. No belief in a "God" or a higher power or anything. Well .... I lately have decided i want to try to understand the belief in god/a higher power. Now i am not talking about the history of religion and god and what not cause i know enough of it and how it has evolved into what it is today. I want to know HOW someone believes in god? What its like? Why? all of that and more.
I try to look into it internally and understand it and even TRY to believe but.... it just doesn't make sense. I can't understand the true internal logic of it. It just doesn't fit or work out in my head.