Sunday Jun 01, 2008

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I have long known that i have Anxiety problems and have been trying to work on getting through or around them. But recently i realised what fuels not only my anxiety but most all of my choices and non choices in my life...... FEAR.
I seem to be afraid of doing so many things. I am afraid of going out to bars i am afraid to try to do better at work cause i am scared all i am going to do is fail and i will have waisted all that time and then my managers will see that and fire me. I was so scared to have ONE drink of alcohol my whole life cause i was scared i was going to become an alcoholic. Most of my friends at one time or another have tried a few drugs. Some they liked some they hated and none of my friends ever got addicted or anything..... but i am just so scared and always have been that the worst will happen with me that i never had my "experimental" phase in life. Not with drugs or alcohol. hell i am so scared of taking drugs when i have gone to see a therapist or psychologist about my problems i refuse to take meds cause i am so scared i will get addicted or something bad will happen.
My friends i have or have had will go out to clubs or parties or bars but i rarely go cause i am honestly scared. Scared whats going to happen. I am scared to talk to people in public. i have never really picked up on a girl in public cause i am just so scared of being rejected........ Outside of like a fear of needles and dentist i really don't have any "phobias' in general to speak of.... but i am just scared of doing so many things
I want to work past this but every time i try to work past it........ it seems to get worse. I can't sleep tonight cause i am scared to go to work tomorrow...... I like my job and i know i can do good at it but.,... i am just so scared i am going to screw up... i don't know what to do.......... frown
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grigley:
my recent experience has been that at some point i've had to face my fears: my fear of being medicated, my fear of filing bankruptcy, my fear of getting rid of my cats in order to sell my house and move away. (i haven't parted with my animals yet, but it's inevitable that it's going to happen... frown )

i totally know what it feels like to be paralyzed with fear and i feel for you. but take a deep breath and try not to let your fears get the best of you. you are an awesome human being. please hang in there! smile

i am sending a BIG HUG your way!
ash:
Damn, it sounds really serious hun. You need to seek out help from someone who knows how to treat these sorts of issues, like a therapist. And if a therapist or doctor gives u a medicine ... its because they are educated in that line of work and they believe it will HELP you, thats *completely* different than alcohol or recreational drug use! Theres plenty of meds that help disorders like the ones u have that arent addictive, or are very mildly addictive and can be easily stopped with the help of a doctor. Hell, if I can kick heroin .. u can kick some prescription drugs, lol! They might be just what u need to fix things, u never know? Im not a doctor though. U need a doctor for real, man. And if u explain your fear of taking meds they might even have some techniques u can try without meds, u never know unless u try! Good luck and Ill talk to ya soon.

(I havent been on messenger in weeks, Ive been reeally busy and hardly ever home)

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