cyberiouse

ok... so i hit my low point earlier... i was thinking about just selling everything i own and just saying fuck it all. I was thinking i could probably get enough money to get an amtrak ticket or two and go visit some friends before i ran out of money and would be on the streets.
.............I guess sometimes you have to hit bottom even if just in your head to start over again... I'm scared though.. i really am. I am so scared that if i try again i will be dissapointed again. I don't think i can handle being brought down again like that. I don't fully know what to do though.
I will say that some friends have helped me though even if only a little. Some of it was by being sweet and understanding and one of them was pretty much being the one who told me "FUCK YOU GET OFF YOUR FUCKING ASS AND DO SOMETHING!" I was really pissed when she sent me the message and i was honestly gonna message her back and tell her off... i am really glad i didn't
The ones on SG who i have to thank who helped me directly were Jenya, and Deunan (who was the only person who i was willing to talk to on the phone and she was willing to even with her throat hurting ) and the one who to get off my ass was Pisces101. Thanks.. i know i had screwed up with you before and i know why you were and still are pissed at me but i know you still care and i am sorry i hurt you and upset you. I need you there to be strong with me. please?
A few of my real life friends lol helped me too. My best friends Manni and Cati.
I am still scared though like i said, and i don't know what to do.