So I have recently started reading a book and it is helping me with alot of things in life. I'm writting this Blog to inform everyone on this book since i think that everyone should read it. It's called THE ART OF LOVING and is written by Erich Fromm.The book was given to me by my friend and former co worker Lelia and i have to say now THANK YOU it has helped me and will continue tohelp me for a long time to come and i owe you for this.
This book has helped me inmore ways than one. It has helped me to realise what has been wrong in past relationships and helped me to understand why some people act the way that they do.
I have come to realise that i have a tendency to get into what woudl be psycholgically called a masochistic/sadistic relationships. Even if it doesnt start like that it tends to degrade to that. I have also realised that while many people have told me that when i am in a relationship and i love a woman that the way im doing it is wrong but iknewit wasnt and this book has helped me to realise that its not as wrong as some people have been telling me. The problem seems to be that not everyone knows how to let them selfs to BE loved by another. In order to trully be loved by someone else as well as love them in return you must be ready to give of yourself COMPLETELLY. That is the true showing of trully being in love. Unwillingness to give of yourself to someone you claim tolove like this shows unwillingness or fear of being loved.
I have also ralised why sex seems to be so important now adays. Every person male or female has a desire to know and understand not only themselfs but others as well. And since sharing of yourslefs personaly is viewed as a bad thing in todays world. Everyone is so afraid to let anyone really know them for fear of beig hurt. So instead of sharing of thier lifes and persons they share of thier body the penitration gives them that fealing of knowing the other person and being known by them at the same time. This fealing of knowing and being known is only temporary and isnt a true knowing though. This doesnt make it bad though or wrong its just what it is.
I havent finished this book yet but i HIGHLY suggest everyone who wants the chance for a more fullfilling loving relationship either curently or in the future read this book. It has also helped me in other aspects outside of love it has helped me to realise things about friendships and even why alot of people drink.
Everyone has a desire to be a part of something and to not be alone. While the ultimate fullfillment of this is a true loving relatinship. Many and most peolle achieve this by going out with friends and drinking. While drining nothng outside of the bar matters. You are a part of the group in the bar they accept and care for you while you are there. this fullfills this need and pushes away the fealing of being alone at least for the moment. Alcohal itself as a substance does this it changes you and the way you are. It makes you feal close to the things around you. Even if you dont drink the idea and concept of what it does and how you and others feal and act while using it is inside of you . So when you go to a bar where there is a group of people whether you know them or not or you drink or not you feal a part of them you feal fullfilled in that you are no longer alone.
OK now im going to just put up some quotes from the book that helped me alot
"Love is the active concern for the life and the growth of that which we love"
"Care, responsibility, respect and knowledgeare mutually independent. They are a syndrome of attitudes which are to be found in the mature person; that is, in the person who develops his own powers productively, who only wants to have that which he has worked for, who has given up narcissistic dreams of omniscience and omnipotence, who has acquired humility based on the inner strength which only genuine productive acticity can give"
"Love is an activity, not a passive affect; it isa "standing in," not a "falling for." In the most general way, the active character of love can be described by stating that love is primarily GIVING, not receiving"
"Beyond the element of giving, the active character of love becomes evident in the fact that it always implies certain basic elements, cmmon to all forms of love. These are care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge."
I could quote the whole book if I had the space and time. I will however be posting blogs with just quotes from the book in the days tocome as i read and understand more and more. i still highly suggest and askeveryone toread this book it will open up new doors in your life love and personally inside you and help you understnad life and everythine and everyone better..
This book has helped me inmore ways than one. It has helped me to realise what has been wrong in past relationships and helped me to understand why some people act the way that they do.
I have come to realise that i have a tendency to get into what woudl be psycholgically called a masochistic/sadistic relationships. Even if it doesnt start like that it tends to degrade to that. I have also realised that while many people have told me that when i am in a relationship and i love a woman that the way im doing it is wrong but iknewit wasnt and this book has helped me to realise that its not as wrong as some people have been telling me. The problem seems to be that not everyone knows how to let them selfs to BE loved by another. In order to trully be loved by someone else as well as love them in return you must be ready to give of yourself COMPLETELLY. That is the true showing of trully being in love. Unwillingness to give of yourself to someone you claim tolove like this shows unwillingness or fear of being loved.
I have also ralised why sex seems to be so important now adays. Every person male or female has a desire to know and understand not only themselfs but others as well. And since sharing of yourslefs personaly is viewed as a bad thing in todays world. Everyone is so afraid to let anyone really know them for fear of beig hurt. So instead of sharing of thier lifes and persons they share of thier body the penitration gives them that fealing of knowing the other person and being known by them at the same time. This fealing of knowing and being known is only temporary and isnt a true knowing though. This doesnt make it bad though or wrong its just what it is.
I havent finished this book yet but i HIGHLY suggest everyone who wants the chance for a more fullfilling loving relationship either curently or in the future read this book. It has also helped me in other aspects outside of love it has helped me to realise things about friendships and even why alot of people drink.
Everyone has a desire to be a part of something and to not be alone. While the ultimate fullfillment of this is a true loving relatinship. Many and most peolle achieve this by going out with friends and drinking. While drining nothng outside of the bar matters. You are a part of the group in the bar they accept and care for you while you are there. this fullfills this need and pushes away the fealing of being alone at least for the moment. Alcohal itself as a substance does this it changes you and the way you are. It makes you feal close to the things around you. Even if you dont drink the idea and concept of what it does and how you and others feal and act while using it is inside of you . So when you go to a bar where there is a group of people whether you know them or not or you drink or not you feal a part of them you feal fullfilled in that you are no longer alone.
OK now im going to just put up some quotes from the book that helped me alot
"Love is the active concern for the life and the growth of that which we love"
"Care, responsibility, respect and knowledgeare mutually independent. They are a syndrome of attitudes which are to be found in the mature person; that is, in the person who develops his own powers productively, who only wants to have that which he has worked for, who has given up narcissistic dreams of omniscience and omnipotence, who has acquired humility based on the inner strength which only genuine productive acticity can give"
"Love is an activity, not a passive affect; it isa "standing in," not a "falling for." In the most general way, the active character of love can be described by stating that love is primarily GIVING, not receiving"
"Beyond the element of giving, the active character of love becomes evident in the fact that it always implies certain basic elements, cmmon to all forms of love. These are care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge."
I could quote the whole book if I had the space and time. I will however be posting blogs with just quotes from the book in the days tocome as i read and understand more and more. i still highly suggest and askeveryone toread this book it will open up new doors in your life love and personally inside you and help you understnad life and everythine and everyone better..
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
sixele:
sorry I havent been on messenger the past few days... my cousins have been over using my comps.
sixele:
I dont think they are doing another group Vouch yet.