After being approached by this drunk guy while waiting for the bus for some change so he could "honestly get a beer." We began talking. I asked him (in standard ghetto speak), "where you stay at?"
He replied "I stay with God."
To which I replied, "fuck it, let's go over there then and raid God's fridge."
The guy laughed and asked me if I was a comedian. He thought that was very funny. (To be honest, I think it's pretty damn funny, too.) He asked me a couple more times if I was a comedian, and then told me that he was, in fact, a comedian. And that he has a joke he wanted to tell me.
He said "God told me this joke," and began:
"The other day I picked up this hitchhiker and he had this bag with him. So I asked him 'what's in the bag?' He told me 'none of your damn business'. I took him to ten spots and every time I asked him what was in the bag he told me 'none of your damn business'. I asked him again 'what's in the bag?' And he told me 'none of your damn business'. And then he was in 7eleven and was taking too long. No, he took too long so I left him there. But he left his bag in my car."
At this point the guy asks me, "Aren't you going to ask me what was in the bag?"
I tried to reply "well I thought you were going to---"
"None of your damn business."
I actually forgot he was telling me a joke when he was telling me this story. I thought he just went on a tangent. Turns out this guy had a horrible sense of humor and maybe my crack about raiding God's fridge wasn't as good as I thought it was.
He replied "I stay with God."
To which I replied, "fuck it, let's go over there then and raid God's fridge."
The guy laughed and asked me if I was a comedian. He thought that was very funny. (To be honest, I think it's pretty damn funny, too.) He asked me a couple more times if I was a comedian, and then told me that he was, in fact, a comedian. And that he has a joke he wanted to tell me.
He said "God told me this joke," and began:
"The other day I picked up this hitchhiker and he had this bag with him. So I asked him 'what's in the bag?' He told me 'none of your damn business'. I took him to ten spots and every time I asked him what was in the bag he told me 'none of your damn business'. I asked him again 'what's in the bag?' And he told me 'none of your damn business'. And then he was in 7eleven and was taking too long. No, he took too long so I left him there. But he left his bag in my car."
At this point the guy asks me, "Aren't you going to ask me what was in the bag?"
I tried to reply "well I thought you were going to---"
"None of your damn business."
I actually forgot he was telling me a joke when he was telling me this story. I thought he just went on a tangent. Turns out this guy had a horrible sense of humor and maybe my crack about raiding God's fridge wasn't as good as I thought it was.