You're an Adult, Act Like One!
Do you remember those three foot long beef jerky snacks? They were about three feet of half inch thick processed and spiced beef. When I was about ten years old (at ten a three foot tall jerky snack was taller than me, I think), in one of my father's failed attempts to be cool and show me and my brother how much he cared for us, he purchased one of those for us.
No, not one beef jerky snack. One whole tube of them. They would keep them in these large tubes at the end of the checkout stands like the impulse to buy a pound and a half of beef would hit you and make you want to buy and eat this meaty rope. My dad, being the metalhead that he is, purchased a whole tube of them.
While visiting one time, we were allowed to indulge in as much meat rope as we wanted eventually leading to stomach aches (and probably heart-attacks).
Today I purchased a Slim Jim and snapped in to it. It was tasty but for some reason it brought up this child hood memory I have had stored up for a while. It made me think that no matter how hard it is growing up without your father, it's also got to be very difficult growing up without your children.
A lot of times, people have babies not because they are qualified parents; but because they're capable of fucking, but not capable of practicing safe sex.
And I feel like so many people that I know now are having children, and growing up, but not growing up to where it's easy to open a can of coke without it hurting your finger tips, or falling on the floor doesn't make you burst out into a 30 minute fit of tears and screaming, but the kind of growing up that tells you it's time to go to bed, you have a long day tomorrow, the kind of growing up that makes you realize that it's probably not the best idea to spend all your money on toys (even though toys are always a completely justifiable expense) and the kind of growing up that tells you it's not okay to let a 10 and a 9 year old eat 5 pounds of smoked jerky snacks in one weekend.
But when you're a father "only because..." and not all of the time, full time then you fail to grow up as well.
As I chewed gigantic bites off of that Slim Jim today, it made me think about how I hope I never make the mistake of letting my children (or anyone's child for that matter) do something for the sake of being the cool adult only to find out you made a big mistake and years of Macho Man's recommendation to snap in to a Slim Jim doesn't scar someone for life.
Do you remember those three foot long beef jerky snacks? They were about three feet of half inch thick processed and spiced beef. When I was about ten years old (at ten a three foot tall jerky snack was taller than me, I think), in one of my father's failed attempts to be cool and show me and my brother how much he cared for us, he purchased one of those for us.
No, not one beef jerky snack. One whole tube of them. They would keep them in these large tubes at the end of the checkout stands like the impulse to buy a pound and a half of beef would hit you and make you want to buy and eat this meaty rope. My dad, being the metalhead that he is, purchased a whole tube of them.
While visiting one time, we were allowed to indulge in as much meat rope as we wanted eventually leading to stomach aches (and probably heart-attacks).
Today I purchased a Slim Jim and snapped in to it. It was tasty but for some reason it brought up this child hood memory I have had stored up for a while. It made me think that no matter how hard it is growing up without your father, it's also got to be very difficult growing up without your children.
A lot of times, people have babies not because they are qualified parents; but because they're capable of fucking, but not capable of practicing safe sex.
And I feel like so many people that I know now are having children, and growing up, but not growing up to where it's easy to open a can of coke without it hurting your finger tips, or falling on the floor doesn't make you burst out into a 30 minute fit of tears and screaming, but the kind of growing up that tells you it's time to go to bed, you have a long day tomorrow, the kind of growing up that makes you realize that it's probably not the best idea to spend all your money on toys (even though toys are always a completely justifiable expense) and the kind of growing up that tells you it's not okay to let a 10 and a 9 year old eat 5 pounds of smoked jerky snacks in one weekend.
But when you're a father "only because..." and not all of the time, full time then you fail to grow up as well.
As I chewed gigantic bites off of that Slim Jim today, it made me think about how I hope I never make the mistake of letting my children (or anyone's child for that matter) do something for the sake of being the cool adult only to find out you made a big mistake and years of Macho Man's recommendation to snap in to a Slim Jim doesn't scar someone for life.