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cyanide81

Member Since 2002

Followers 85 Following 112

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Thursday Nov 10, 2011

Nov 10, 2011
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Thank you to those who commented on my last blog. I havent had much time at all to come online in the last few days. Today is my day off, so hopefully i can unwind a bit.

On Tuesday, my coworker worked her last day, and it hit me very hard. She was my only friend there, and with the stress of her leaving, and my 10-13 hour days at work, and training someone who just doesnt seem to be able to retain anything i teach, all on top of my normal depression about my personal life, i had a smallish nervous breakdown.

On the drive home from work, which is about a 45 minute drive, i could barely keep from crying. I ended up breaking down and going over to my parents house, and i broke down there. Its the first time in probably 10 years that i've really broken down and talked to my parents about my problems. I got some things off my chest that ive been keeping from them, and they were very supportive. It helped immensely. I'm still stressed about work, and down about my life in general, but i'm dealing with it much better.

I came to the decision, that even at 30 years old, i need to move back in with my parents, at least for a couple years, so that i can save money, and try to go to school. I've said i want to go to school many times over the years, but i need to do something. I'm not getting any younger, and i need to do something about my life. A complete lifestyle change is in order. So as much as it will suck to give up my privacy and independence, i need to do this.

I've lived in California for half of my life now, and my entire adult life for sure. I dont know how it is in the rest of the country, i know the economy just sucks everywhere, but it is really difficult, financially, to live in california. Its rediculously expensive. I live in low income apartments right now, but even with that, i still live paycheck to paycheck, and often not even that well, because i have to overdraft my bank account just to buy gas to get to work. The area of southern california i live in is probably about 90% housing, and 10% businesses, which means if you want a job, you have to commute a good distance away. And gas prices, as we all know, suck.

So, i have to do what i have to do, and suck it up, and go be a 30 year old man who lives with his mommy and daddy. Hopefully not for too long though.

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
yakdeculture:
Live to fight another day my friend. There is no shame in what you're doing. It's actually very smart.
Nov 10, 2011
comic_guy:
The chemos not so bad. It's the after effects. It's the 3 day long nausea and sleeping and just feeling dead.

But it's the price I pay. I will beat this.

Nothing wrong with living at home till you're ready and able to move. Guy I worked with stayed home till he got married. I stayed home till I had enough money to buy a house.

Don't be ashamed. BE proud that your parents are as supportive as they are. Thats a blessing in this day and age.
Nov 10, 2011

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