The first week of Februrary is over. It's cathartic to talk about it, so continue to read if you wish.
Tuesday I had an anxiety attack at work. Wednesday was my gram's birthday, first since she passed. I tried my best to not think about it. Didn't work. I cried all day. I cried when I pulled into the parking lot at work. A doctor asked if I was ok, because I wasn't my usual, funny, singing, dancing self. I told him why I was sad. He told me to celebrate her birthday, not mourn it. I agree, but it's hard. He started singing 'happy birthday' for her and I lost it, I bawled. Thursday and Friday I was better. Work was stressful though. I was tech for an exploratory surgery that ended with bad news. Cancer on his pancreas and the tumor involved the aorta. Then we had to euthanize a dog that bit the owner in the face. By law we had to send the head to the county for rabies testing. So you can imagine what we had to do. Saturday was busy, xrays on everything, sedate a feral cat for an exam. **Just a disclaimer, please don't confuse this as me complaining about my career. I love my job. But at times it can be a bit overwhelming. We have one of the highest turnaround rates due to burnout and compassion fatigue, both of which I experience** The rest of my Saturday was alright. I napped for almost an hour, that was sweet. I crashed hard, fell asleep with my glasses on, woke up with them in my arms. Today I am going to my uncle's for his Super Bowl party. I don't do sports, but it's an excuse to get out. My aunt puts out a good spread and good drinks. So we will see. Thankfully I have the next 2 days off work to unwind. I think I'm catching the funk that has been going around work, I'm cold and my nose is stuffy. It could be stress and exhaustion. Either way I look and feel like garbage. Thanks for your continuing support guys.
