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cvtgrrl_shan

South Side Chicago, IL

Member Since 2015

Followers 1236 Following 156

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February 💔

Jan 31, 2017
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Is not a good month for me. It's been less than a year since my grandma passed, her birthday is Feb 1st, she would have been 93. One of my grandpas died on his 54th birthday Feb 19, 1999. The other, the one I was closest to, who helped raise me, died Feb 25, 2002, he was 73. His death was sudden and unexpected. He went in for routine surgery and almost died on the operating table, he landed in the ICU and somehow [I say with sarcasm] got pneumonia. He died a few days later. It's been 15 years and I still have such a hard time.

Last February I had a mental breakdown, at work. It was so embarrassing and I couldn't control my emotions. I was attempting to draw blood on a tiny 4lb kitten and it wasn't cooperating, to be expected from such a tiny creature. It jammed its neck onto the needle I had in its jugular vein. I quickly pulled my syringe out and grabbed the kitten and held its neck hoping I didn't lacerate it. I lost it. I yelled to get the doctor and I broke down crying. I was cradling this poor, terrified kitten in my arms on the table and was sobbing uncontrollably on it. I felt so bad for my coworkers who had to see me like that. It's awkward for everyone.

February is also spay/neuter month at my clinic, so we have a lot of surgeries almost everyday. It's stressful, everything about it is stressful. I hate it.

So ladies and gents, I apologize in advance if I am a sad, depressed girl for the next 4 weeks. I will try my best to be positive, but I need help. I just ask that you guys try to keep me positive and happy, maybe try to make me smile sometimes. I don't have the greatest support system at home, so I look to my friends xoxoxo.

VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
cvtgrrl_shan:
@chefdaddy yes! Because I won't even be thinking about it, I'll be concentrating on something else and then my brain decides it wants to have an anxiety attack. And I'm such a sensitive person, so when someone shows me sympathy I immediately turn into a crying, grateful mess.
Jan 31, 2017
dmaxis006:
Im sorry, miss. Hope it does get better soon for you.
Feb 1, 2017

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