Friday Feb 11, 2005

0
Alright this is it...I have had it...You left me...Left like you said you would never do...Made so many fucking promises...Then just left....Hows things with your mom and your family...They should be good since the bad influence in your life is gone...But I dont think you getting slapped in the face is a good sign...I did everything for you...Gave you $1000, paid all your bills for six months and even got you this SG membership...So you want to make everyone think I am the crazy one...I asked you to stay off SG so i would not have to hear about you...I LOVED YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING EVER! You do not seem to understand that.You can Have it all back....Everything and anything you want...And you can come spit on my grave with the rest of your family...You have done a great job of making me the bad guy here...But you have not told the whole story...not even close....I gave everything for a year and a half and that doesnt mean shit to you...You'll be sorry when i am gone!...If you dont believe check the obituaries next week Ill be there!

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)"

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means
(I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed

I'm okay
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
paleenchantress:
chin up swetie..i hope things get better frown
tomandhisjones:
What haven't I told anyone? That you backed me into corners and tried to control me? Had to know who I was with, what I was doing if you weren't there, which wasn't very often. I included you in all the plans with the friends, I introduced you to people. That's alot different than sitting in your house feeling bad for yourself. I'm sorry that I hurt you, but I never ment to. And it's bullshit that you think I am lieing to you, I'm not. I never have. I have nothing to lie about. I never talk to Jenn, or my mom about you. But yes, it has been better around here. I can sit at home for a night and be comfortable. It's a good change.

I'm sorry that I did hurt you, but it wasn't a fucking one way street on this. Everyday I come on here and read your entries, because I fucking care, but yet it's this shit. John, what the fuck are you doing? Over a fucking girl? There is no fucking reason you should've lost your job, you shouldn't be drinking all the time. How the fuck did I drive you to that?

I don't even know what to say to you.

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