cutnhalf

Happy New year. Its is officialy 2005...To everyone that reads this journal I am sorry you have been hearing the same shit over and over. I am really sorry.I have never felt like this before .....I am not puling any punches I feel like dying...Update Jan 2 2005...Went to the movies alone tonight...god thats pathetic..Life Aqutic was good though.I really wish I did not feel...
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New Years eve day...Sick as hell...Hungover as fuck....And just plain fucking sad...Dont want to do another year...Happy FUCKIN NEW YEAR!

I miss you way too much!

"The good times are killing me!" modest mouse

Maybe I'll see you all next year. If I make it through tonight. Really not in a good place. I hate the way feel.i hate the way I look.I hate evrything...
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Woke up as usual feeling
Now I feel

I'M NOt ALRIGHT!

i am sorry...If I am making you sad....I dont know what to say anymore....Since you left I feel like part of me is gone..i really hate it but its the truth...Everything i think has to do with you...maybe I was hoping that would stop...But I have been doing it for so long and probabbly do it for the rest of my life...i am not the...
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Cant seem to sleep.Cant seem to think straight. At least not without thinking of you.I never thought I could miss someone so much. Never thought my life would get so fucked up. My best freind is asleep in the next room. he cant even help. Not that he does not want to or has'nt tried. i am really beyond help at this point.When the things...
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Merry Christmas! I hate the holidays!

People keep asking me if I am ok...I am not...Not at all...I am sick...Cant feel anythingy anymore...I want to die.

Listening to Story Of The Year driving around lonely and crying....I have lost all taste for life....I am going through it numb....Seth took my knives out of my car....I wish someone would just cut my heart out for me...You ask me to say things like that...You ask me to not hurt myself...I dont know what to do because I feel like my life has been...
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I am so lost right now. It seems like when it rains it pours...On top of Meg leaving me...My mom has a artery blockage in her heart...Everyting just sux right now...I feel so alone and cold all time...This sux....i want to feel better but I dont think its gonna happen...Rachel and Erin are ignoring my calls.....Everyting is just shit....I hate the holidays!

"I CANT FIND...
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IM SORRY!

She is gone!
I AM DEAD INSIDE!
FEEL USED BETRATED AND FUCKED OVER!


I HOPE MY BLOOD KEEPS YOU WARM!
CAUSE TONIGHT I SPILL ALL OF IT!

Leaving my house
kitchen knife in my hand
im sorry to all
Cant deal with a broken heart anymore

Ok well I am supposed to be at work right now. Doing stuff with my student....But I live on a big ass fuckin hill which is now a big sheet of ice....So I am waiting for them to sand.

I know I have not updated in a while, but my computer access has been very limited. So here is a quick update....

1) went to...
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