cutepillowdancer

As i sit... early morning... late night... thinking of my next step... tomorrow 3 hour rehearsal for unpaid very artistic performance... monday 3 interviews for jobs at the mall... interesting how this moment feels similar to the moments 4 1/2 years ago before deciding to go back to school... only that time it was school, or a cruise ship... I love my art, i love what i do, but you know someday i wanna have a family and kids and be stable... how to deal with the realization of being a starving artist....... will my will give way to being artistically fed, while still starving on the outside, how many more times will i be strong enough to say no to the money and yes to the art before i give in.... i feel myself wearing thin. Something in this world needs to change... a realization that art is better than war.... i don't need money in the physical sense I just need to know that i will be ok... if only the world economy was based on sweet tarts all this would go away.... thanks for listening to my sob story of this evening...