curss

Sometimes I come on here and want to write down all the things racing around in my head...but when I start...the thoughts come to quickly and I can't type them out fast enough...and then when I can focus on one or two topics...I stop and think...WHY? ...why even bother writing anything at all...I'm under the impression that only one person actually reads this journal...and I feel that I can trust her...so it's not a matter of privacy...I guess it's just that it seems pointless to me at times...what am I doing? ...I mean...I'm a total stranger to everyone on this site...so who really gives a crap what I do or think about anything...I barely care somedays...hmmmm...just went and smoked a cigarette...came back and re-read this...very negative and I probably sholud erase it...but like I said nobody is reading it...and I guess this is where my head is at right now...it'll pass...I'd feel happier if my furnace was working...it's fuckin freezing in here...so I'm cold on the outside...and tonite I feel cold on the inside too...