Friday Sep 16, 2005

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Goddamn I feel horrible about something. I have to get it off my chest.
For those of you who don't know, I try my best to be a Buddhist, although it fails me on occasion. And last night was one of those occasions.
I was lying on my futon doing my homework when I noticed a GIANT black ground beetle on the floor. It was not as much scurrying across the floor as it was sitting there, observing me. I mean, the insect was actually staring at me, and now that I think about it, I wonder if it was considering how to get up here to sit with me in it's little insect mind.
Anyway, I freaked out, like most girls, and squashed it. And now I feel terrible. It is still on the floor, under my clipboard, and I cannot pick up the clipboard.
It was about the size of two quarters laid side by side. Afterwards I got very upset and thought that it shouldn't have happened that way. I should've grabbed it in a tissue and taken it outside, or put it in an aquarium, or something. I mean, how many insects actually sit there and stare at you in a knowing way?



I'm sorry I killed you, Mr. Black Beetle. You were really cool.

Curi.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
darkangelazrael:
You know I used to always take spiders and stuff that i found inside and put them on the rosebush outside my door. Then one time in my sleep or something like that a Brown Recluse bit my leg. I almost lost it. Came very close to getting that leg cut off. Then I found that recluse later in my closet and killed the crap out of it. Now there is not one spider that does not get a quick squash. the rest of them though I still try to shoe out the door or what have you. I know what you mean though. I still don't feel good about killing spiders but it is like a primal reaction now whenever I see one. Just think on what you did and try not to act so quickly again. It's all you can do. Maybe you could also do something to honor the beetle for the life it lead till the end. Don't feel bad Curi. I love ya as much as I ever did. It doesn't make you a bad person. Oh by the way if you were given the chance at 3 wishes what would yours be? Mine would be for my parents to live long healthy happy lives. for everyone on the planet to take a true minute to think about what they are about to do. and to have full understanding and usage of 100% of my brain power. hehe Take care Curi and have a wonderful weekend.

Sincerely, Ron. skull skull
fred:

Bug Killer!!

I try to shoo out spiders, but cockroaches are on my squash list.

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