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curiosity

Strong Badia (next to the world-class hole)

Member Since 2004

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Thursday Jan 26, 2006

Jan 25, 2006
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I need a long, refreshing Ranty McRantington, and since this is the only journal I have where I haven't completely messed it up somehow, this is the one I'm gonna do it in. Here goes. Fasten your seatbelts.
SCHOOL. FUCKING. SUCKS.
I have been a college student attempting to get my bachelor's degree for about seven years now. No, I will never forgive myself for those three years of art school. It's not gonna happen. Many of my friends are in their early twenties and will be graduating soon. I am in my (gasp!) MID twenties. I hate them all. (Not really. I just envy the fuck out of them for knowing what they wanted to do once they got out of high school. Why did it take me so fucking long to figure it out?)
Right now, in an attempt to graduate in December, I am taking five classes. And although they are somewhat easy, they are time consuming and kicking the puny ass of my free time. I have absolutely zero time for myself right now and it is driving me insane. I cannot do band things or artwork or projects or anything that is not school related. It is making me want to gouge out my eyeballs. As I type this, I am taking a break during a studying all-nighter. It is currently 4:44am. I will not sleep until my class finishes at noon. I know this to be fact. It is so factual I believe I will vomit.
There is nothing, NOTHING...not monetary awards, not sexual favors, not ANYTHING, that could make me enjoy showing up for class. Every time I wake up and start to leave the apartment and head towards my first class I feel like someone has punched me in the back of the head. For the last few days I have been so frustrated that I couldn't even bring myself to cry. And no one, NO ONE seems to have any advice to make any of this better besides the trite, and useless, following:
-Get out of school ast fast as you can.
Well YEAH. That's what I'm trying to do. This response is so overplayed and tarded that it is re-tarded.
-Drop out or switch schools.
I am a few months (scoff scoff) short of graduating so this is not an option in any way, shape or form.
-Go to class stoned.
Believe me, if it weren't for the asthma, I would already be doing this one.
-Draw during class.
You know what professors fucking hate? Students who don't act like they are paying attention. So this is a bad idea. The point is not to fail things so I will have to take them over. The point is to GRADUATE and GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
There seems to be no solution for 1. making myself go to class and 2. sitting through class when I actually get there without pulling my hair out and 3. not having so much fucking work to do that my soul is ripped out through my nose with a meathook.

Rant concluded...have a nice day. smile

Curi.
wearehere:
I'll suggest a mind screw that might help push through some of the pain. Focus on what the end result will be; the final product of your hard work. On the days that you're finding it impossible to get out of bed, think of what you're going to be wearing under your gown when you graduate.

Trust me, one day you're going to be drinking with friends and laughing about this time of your life. You'll be joking about how much it sucked but you'll still be laughing.

Good luck and keep fighting the good fight.

~tim
Jan 25, 2006

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