curiosity

I don't mean to turn this into a bitchfest of personal agony, but here goes.
I have two friends who are not acting like friends. And I have a boyfriend that has been ignoring me. It's pretty unlike me to fall in these traps in the first place. But anyway.
Friend #1 has been my good friend for 3 years, but has a boyfriend now, so he dissapeared off the face of the Earth. He won't even come over to my new place, and I moved about a month ago.
Friend #2 decided to reconnect with some old friends of hers. There's been some shadiness going on there. And I think maybe she doesn't need me anymore.
((And the boyfriend hasn't called me 4 days, so I'm wondering if that's even in existence anymore.))
This weekend, instead of typing things on SG, I was supposed to be at a convention with friends 1 and 2. I bought them the passes. I paid for the hotel room. I was going to drive and didn't expect gas money. I did every nice thing that a person could do short of buying them food and clothing. But, of course, I'm not there right now.
These are times when I absolutely loathe the nice person that I am, and I wish I were a really nasty, evil person, who didn't give a fuck about anyone. Because that way I'd be lonely but I wouldn't be hurt also.
And if anyone tells me how great I am, and to go out and make some new friends, I will punch them in the goddamn face. Like it's so fucking easy.

Curi.