cureelise

hey hey -

Just got back from the beach- got in around 1ish - the traffic sucked cock and I had a slight case of major road rage- there were some very naughty words coming out of my mouth- most of it was also do to me being like 10 mins from home and really having to pee - when I have to pee u better get the fuck out of my way unless u want me to get out of my car and go over and pee on yours. I had a few thorts of doing that to a couple of real slow ass drivers with my luck I'd probably end up peein on someones car that is into golden showers so he or she would get off on it - LOL - "so I was like BIATCHESSSS get the fuck out of the way - gotta pee" maybe next time I shouldn't down my coke like it's going out of style-
anywho I managed to get a real nice tan as well as a slight sun burn as well - hehehe- had fun with my family - my cousin came down on wed with his wife - their 3yr old son and two nieces who are 15- so the house was pretty full which was nice- went to Fantasy Island on Fri those who know LBI NJ will know what I'm talking about- hit up Atlantic City with my dad yesterday - he hasn't been in a while so he wanted to go play some poker while I hit the slot machines- put 5 bucks into one machine and came out with 213.00 - that's when I stopped playing and went for a walk on the boardwalk while I waited for my dad to finish his last hand of poker-
so here I am at home and I've been feeling real emotional - like anything can set me off or put me in tears- spent the last couple of hours crying on and off - kinda got some of my feelings sorted out after chatting with e666 - he knows what I'm going through and what could be causing me to be so fucking emotional- trying to deal with some shit that has been bothering me lately and me being emotional hasn't really been helping at all- I'm hoping to be back to my normal self soon cause I'm not really liking myself at the moment. it's gotten to the point of me being somewhat nerveous and afraid to tell peeps what's up cause it might drive them away or make them think that I'm a possessive bitch- < that really has me down and it's making me feel like shit - there's one thing that has really really really been getting to me and usually it doesn't - but at the moment it is and I'm trying to deal with it and figure out why it's really getting to me but at the moment with my emotions being so fuckin twacked it isn't working and I feel that it could drive some people away if I don't find a way to deal with it. so the thort of that happening gets me down even more cause I really wouldn't want for how I'm being lately to drive them away Shit here comes the tears once again- though tears can be very pretty if on the right person what's also getting me down is that someone that I'm very close to hasn't been being that honest with me as of lately and that is one thing that I fucking hate- lying to me isn't a good thing. I've been known to hold grudges for years and like I've said in the past my temper isn't one that u would want to deal with - kinda feel like there is one other person that isn't being honest with me as well - but I need to look a little more into why I'm feeling that way- this was going to be short and sweet - but I needed something to distract me from crying once again- I hope my next entry is a happier one - oh one more thing if someone doesn't stop leaving comments on this one bitches page I swear I'm going to fucking kick him in the baby maker since he knows I fucking can't stand the bitch and would have her head handed to me on a platter in seconds

I'll be there when there's nothing left.
And night and day, holding you.
I'll be here deep inside your soul.
Meet me there.

Can you feel me?
(Can you feel me?)
Can you feel me deep inside?

There is no time to deny that I need you.
And I will be there to repair your delightful days.
There is no time to deny that I need you.
That's why I'll be here to relieve your painful days.

Hiding well where the pain is real.
Night and day, growing you.
In the haze, poison in your veins.
Meet me there.

Can you feel me?
(Can you feel me?)
Can you feel me deep inside?

There is no time to deny that I need you.
And I will be there to repair your delightful days.
There is no time to deny that I need you.
That's why I'll be here to relieve your painful days.

Deep inside.

There is no time to deny that I need you.
And I will be there to repair your delightful days.
There is no time to deny that I need you.
That's why I'll be here to relieve your painful days.



I lay, looking at my hands
I search in these lines
I've not the answer
I'm crying and I don't know
watching the sky
I search an answer
I'm free, free to be
I'm not another liar
I just want to be myself... myself

And now the beat inside me
is a sort of a cold breeze and I've
never any feeling inside
ruining me...
bring my body
carry it into another world
I know I live... but like a stone I'm falling down

I pray, looking into the sky
I can feel this rain
right now it's falling on me
fly, I just want to fly
life is all mine
some days I cry alone,
but I know I'm not the only one
I'm here, another day is gone
I don't want to die...?
Please be there when I'll arrive, don't cry... please