9
"you will move into a wonderful new home within a year."
I just signed a lease so I'm not going anywhere unless this place burns down. .... aw crap.
12

"An old wish will come true."
How old are we talking? Because I made some silly ones when I was a kid.

7

If you want a good laugh, open a tab with THIS youtube video of a small robot doing MMA fight moves. Open a second tab with U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer. Play the song in the background and watch the robot. Funny stuff.

6

2 weeks of doing whatever the hell I want. Anyone that wants to meet me in central Wisconsin is welcome to join me.

cruorem_angelus:
Friend: "get that GoFundMe account going. You may need bail money!"ME: "I Shouldn't need bail money. There was a close call last night with the bus load of strippers but I talked us out of trouble. In an unrelated note, I'm now the ringmaster of Cirque du Effeuilleuse."
7

I've been voluntarily working 60-68 hour weeks since mid April. Last Friday, I decided an 8 hour shift was enough. I had 56 hours for the week when I went home. Today the managers gave me shit for leaving after 8 hours last Friday. WTF. Apparently they don't understand the word "voluntary."

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
dariianity:
Why would you do that on the first place?
cruorem_angelus:
I was in nursing school until mid April. I had to drop my classes because they unexpectedly wanted more money than I had (after I paid tuition, they started billing me for "course fees"). We don't have enough staff at work so it was a perfect opportunity to bank extra money for school.
3
A writer on FB asked:
What if James Brown didn't feel good?
What if Journey stopped believing?
What if the devil never went down to Georgia?

keep it going....

What if Tom Petty did want you to do him like that?
What if Justin Timberlake could stop the feeling?
What if Madonna wasn't a material girl?

cruorem_angelus:
What if Foreigner didn't want to know what love is? What is the new moon wasn't on Monday? What if Billie Jean's kid was his son? What if girls didn't want to have fun? What if REM didn't lose their religion? What if Meatloaf wouldn't do anything for love, but he would do that? What if Kriss Kross didn't jump? What if Right Said Fred wasn't too sexy?
5

At work, we have some big ass flying bugs. Like those giant cockroaches with wings or something. At 9:45pm, as I was running the press, I hear a buzzing fly past my ear and a big, brown blur inches from my face. Thinking it's one of those bugs, I step back like "what the fuck". Hovering two feet in front of my face, staring right...
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3

I was thinking about heading to the fair and shooting some pictures today. As I was running errands in the 89 degree, humid day I realized that I spend 12 hours a day (and frequently another 8 on Saturdays) being hot and sweaty at work. I don't want to be hot and sweaty on my day off too.