crunix

Have you ever had the feeling where you're between sleep and reality? You lie in bed restless, but too tired to pull yourself out.

I seemed to have that feeling this past weekend. I found myself sleeping for an hour or so, then waking from a nightmare and not being able to tell whether I was living it or drifting from the dream.

I'm not sure whether I'll find sleep tonight to be an escape or a prison. However, I find myself wondering whether my mind is telling me something more. Perhaps the message I've been sent is life is a prison no matter how you try to bend and break it in.

Then I find myself digging deeper to define whether the dreams we have are but a part of our mind, a simple brain or a sample of spiritual essence. Are these thoughts going to carry with me in what could be an afterlife or will they melt away into the soil with the rest of my carcass. Are the thoughts and words we develop simply the matter of fired chemicals in our nervous system or something greater. I suppose I'll never know, and I can just let some sort of hope linger on that the chemical exchanges will fire among other people surrounding me.

Perhaps it's not so important that I know whether my thoughts will live on after this body's passing, but that the chemical exchange can be written in the minds of those around me. I may not carry my thoughts with my death in the future, but the actions taken sparked by those thoughts may allow for the betterment of those minds around me. In the end, maybe it's not about where we're going to end up after our earthly passing, but where those succeeding us find their answers.

Though I may rest in peace some day, I can only hope I will find peace in my slumber this eve.