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crowings

Member Since 2004

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Tuesday Jul 26, 2005

Jul 26, 2005
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Song of the moment: "I've got dreams to remember" by the inestimable Otis Redding

Being a bum, a semi-recluse, and a lil bit drug addled, there are few moments in the day when I feel inspired enough to impart some of my thoughts in writing. Being self-centered, self-critical, self-conscious, and any other kind of self- affliction you can think of, I usually end up hating what I write and delete before it's finished. However, being driven from a moment to moment basis nearly completely by impulse, occasionally the urge to update breaks through the subterfuge of reserve and the results are... something like this. This is the process through which I update. I know you were itching to know. Yes, you are welcome.

In the past I have apologized for and censored my amateur poetry, which is generally a terrible, terrible thing, but I left the last journal standing for a while to see if I would still approve of what I wrote a full month afterwards, which, for the first time, I did. I write poetry seldomly (see above) and, when I bother thinking about it at all, wonder if it has any place in this world. Beyond my own self-expression, it doesn't seem to have much use. I suppose that's important enough though.

I like to be vague. I think it's because I second-guess myself a lot, and vagueness can be a effective means of circumventing criticism. I also don't know what it means to "speak your mind." I don't think mine works like that.

That word vagueness bothers me. It just doesn't sound right. Something like vaguity or vagueosity would be better.

Life can be a wrenching thing, can't it?

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