A loose synopsis on the winter break:
Last weekend I went to Winter Park, which is a winter wonderland but not as much of one as its name suggests (i.e. no animatronic-guided rollercoaster adventures). We got off the mountain a bit early after having a few too many brrs at the basin for lunch. As a result, we left early enough not to be buried under a mountainous cascade of avalanching snow. Once again, my life is indebted to that wonderfully intoxifying solution.
Other than these types of snow-related episodes and a few spontaneous bouts of indoor footie, I have reverted unflinchingly to Bum-Mode. I'd almost forgotten the bittersweet lassitude of a daily cycle consisting of 10 hours of sleep, 2-hour breakfasts and enough languishing to insult the sensibilities of even the most bohemian townie.
Sadly, it is time to break that cycle. To stave off the inevitable tides of existential crises, I made exactly 23 suggestions of things to blend. Some "highlights":
Item to blend: A blender of inferior persuasion
Why?: When you wanna show up the competition, BLEND IT!!! Also kittens
Item to blend: A cucumber
Why?: I like cucumbers. They have also little seeds in them. In addition, when you pickle them, they are called pickles! Neato!
Item to blend: Timecop
Why?: Because HE will travel back in time to stop you! (winking sadface emoticon omitted)
Item to blend: My tortured soul.
Why?: It is darkness and things. But WILL IT BLEND?
Yeah it doesn't make sense and I know it's kinda sad, but only kinda, right?
Also to this end, I'm going out tonight. Having stepped outside the box (literally) in my collegiate pursuits, I've come to a new level of appreciation for the unique culture of this fantastically rectangular state. To sketch a rough portrait, here are three loosely related facts I've come upon just today:
i.) Tentatively, I'm going to two bars tonight. The first is the Cowboy Saloon (not to be confused with the Cowboy Bar, which is an establishment of a much inferior persuasion). The Cowboy is well known for its mechanical bull and its liability to burn down to the ground in about 5 minutes. It being Thursday, tonight is Teen Night. Yep. Teen Night at a bar might sound a bit antithetical to you, but please remember that my town has both drive thru liquor stores that serve cocktails to the driver and open container laws. Yep.
ii.) The other bar is Bud's Bar, which is most notable as being the model for Moe's Tavern, since one of the writers for The Simpsons went to school here (see also: Laramie Cigarettes). Incidentally, Moe's is a quite faithful rendition, except there's no longer a pool table at Bud's.
iii.) According to recent statistics according to my friend, Albany County (mine) tied with another Wyoming county, Sublette (sucky), for the most alcoholics per capita in the country. Here are the reactions of my parental units:
Mom: We tied for first?
Me: Yep.
Mom: That's terrible.
Dad: Yeah, we should really have the edge over Sublette.
Hopefully that gives you an idea.
Oh, and yesterday I found a first edition of Cat's Cradle at a flea market for a buck-fiddy. Word.
Last weekend I went to Winter Park, which is a winter wonderland but not as much of one as its name suggests (i.e. no animatronic-guided rollercoaster adventures). We got off the mountain a bit early after having a few too many brrs at the basin for lunch. As a result, we left early enough not to be buried under a mountainous cascade of avalanching snow. Once again, my life is indebted to that wonderfully intoxifying solution.
Other than these types of snow-related episodes and a few spontaneous bouts of indoor footie, I have reverted unflinchingly to Bum-Mode. I'd almost forgotten the bittersweet lassitude of a daily cycle consisting of 10 hours of sleep, 2-hour breakfasts and enough languishing to insult the sensibilities of even the most bohemian townie.
Sadly, it is time to break that cycle. To stave off the inevitable tides of existential crises, I made exactly 23 suggestions of things to blend. Some "highlights":
Item to blend: A blender of inferior persuasion
Why?: When you wanna show up the competition, BLEND IT!!! Also kittens
Item to blend: A cucumber
Why?: I like cucumbers. They have also little seeds in them. In addition, when you pickle them, they are called pickles! Neato!
Item to blend: Timecop
Why?: Because HE will travel back in time to stop you! (winking sadface emoticon omitted)
Item to blend: My tortured soul.
Why?: It is darkness and things. But WILL IT BLEND?
Yeah it doesn't make sense and I know it's kinda sad, but only kinda, right?
Also to this end, I'm going out tonight. Having stepped outside the box (literally) in my collegiate pursuits, I've come to a new level of appreciation for the unique culture of this fantastically rectangular state. To sketch a rough portrait, here are three loosely related facts I've come upon just today:
i.) Tentatively, I'm going to two bars tonight. The first is the Cowboy Saloon (not to be confused with the Cowboy Bar, which is an establishment of a much inferior persuasion). The Cowboy is well known for its mechanical bull and its liability to burn down to the ground in about 5 minutes. It being Thursday, tonight is Teen Night. Yep. Teen Night at a bar might sound a bit antithetical to you, but please remember that my town has both drive thru liquor stores that serve cocktails to the driver and open container laws. Yep.
ii.) The other bar is Bud's Bar, which is most notable as being the model for Moe's Tavern, since one of the writers for The Simpsons went to school here (see also: Laramie Cigarettes). Incidentally, Moe's is a quite faithful rendition, except there's no longer a pool table at Bud's.
iii.) According to recent statistics according to my friend, Albany County (mine) tied with another Wyoming county, Sublette (sucky), for the most alcoholics per capita in the country. Here are the reactions of my parental units:
Mom: We tied for first?
Me: Yep.
Mom: That's terrible.
Dad: Yeah, we should really have the edge over Sublette.
Hopefully that gives you an idea.
Oh, and yesterday I found a first edition of Cat's Cradle at a flea market for a buck-fiddy. Word.