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criticaloversite

Mt Clemens

Member Since 2004

Followers 27 Following 30

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Friday May 07, 2004

May 7, 2004
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I feel like I should be apologizing for my lack of participation on the site lately. I'm here, I'm just not posting much. The passive interaction of reading and chuckling to myself once in awhile seems to suffice my SG needs as of late. So please, don't think I'm hating on anyone. I've just lost concern in any sort of "volume-based" status on here and have become more aware of the quality of my posts.

This new girlfriend stuff isn't going quite the way I'd like it, sad to say. She's nice and all that jazz, and very attractive, but I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling the level of communication I desire in a partner. In fact, it's not even there at all. This lack of connectedness, to me, is far more frustrating than anything else in a relationship. I'd even be willing to go into a "no sex" relationship if the communication was good. It is what I hold to be most important, and after careful consideration and experimentation with my past relationships, I'm 100% sure of this ideal that I hold. I'm sorry, but it's true. I do have certain expectations, and if the person cannot live up to them, I simply will not be happy.

My dilemna is this: do I hang on, and try to change things? I've mentioned this problem already, however indirectly, to her. But it's also my opinion that people should not have to make drastic changes in a relationship. If you've got to do this, then it is beyond a compromise, and the two of you are not working for each other. If I hang on and try hope for change, it will make it that much more painful and difficult to both parties if that change does not arrive. So do I hit the breaks now, and salvage whatever chance is left of us still remaining friends?

Quid nunc....*sigh*

These things never work out for people like me, you realize.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
friedbanana105:
you're wondering if you can change things, so i gather the problem isn't the intellectual aspect of the communication, but the quality of the communication itself... getting her to express herself... is this correct?

i would talk to her about it. she's no doubt aware that she doesn't open up very well, and maybe she'd love to be able to but doesn't know how. it wouldn't be like she was "drastically changing" just for the relationship, but for herself as well. of course, if she's comfortable with herself like this, then it would be pointless to take that frustrating path.

yeah, it would require a lot of effort, but it would be worth it if she's The One -- or has that potential. i don't know... it's early in the relationship and easy to bail, but with some work maybe this could turn out to be something really special.

how does it feel to you? go with your gut.

Fides.
May 7, 2004
arch_stanton:
You have said everything you need to know in this entry.
You are not happy in this relationship.

End it and be friends, because you will meet someone who stimulates you intellectually. Just wait for them to show themselves.

It should be special from the beginning and then get even better as you get to know each other.
If I'm mistaken and this is the case, then stick with it, but
I don't feel any of that from your journal.
May 9, 2004

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