crimsonbeauty

Why didn't I listen to myself? Ugh. I'm a fool. Once again, I got my hopes up. I'd prefer to not be cynical and jaded and all that crap, but its getting to that point.

I really know how to pick them. Another boy with ex-girlfriend drama issues etc.

I got really sick Sunday night because I got caught out in a rainstorm. So my first two days of school, I pretty much wanted to die. I couldn't swallow without serious pain and my entire body hurt. I slept whenever I wasn't in school until wednesday, when the magic penicillin worked its wonders. I was feeling so good in fact, that I decided it would be a great day to hang out with Spike. I invited him to my house, he wants me to go to his. So I go over and our chill time turned into chill with "the crew" time.

Somehow we end up going to the mall. We're sitting outside smoking and his phone rings, he answers. Josh says, who was that? Oh it's April, she'll be here soon. I'm already thinking, wtf, who is April? I knew of two girls that were kind of in his life, his ex who he still fucked from time to time for shits n giggles but didn't plan on getting back with, which I can understand, and some girl he had started seeing who broke off all contact for no reason. So I assume this is ex-girlfriend. Oh, not good. I meet her and she is a sweetheart which makes it so much harder to be pissed at what she does later.

So we walk around the mall (why I don't fucking know, I guess this is what us underage kids are reduced to in crappy cities). And in talking to some of the other guys, it is decided that we will drink this night. I'm not sure because I haven't eaten anything of solid form since sunday night. But Spike seemed into the idea, so I figure what the hell, good excuse to sleep in his bed again. Also, April can't go because she's still in high school. I don't quite have the claws out yet, but after her behavior at the mall, I realized she is definitely still attached to him.

We go to my place so I can pick up a few things, as I planned on leaving for school from Spike's house the next morning, which he knew and seemed agreeable about the plan. We get back to Spike's and since I haven't eaten all week, I get hammered off of about 6 shots of cheap vodka. Quite pathetic for a seasoned drinker such as myself.

At some point Spike and ... Jeff... I want to say his name is, go outside. They're gone for quite a while and in my hammered state I go outside looking for them. Oh wait, did I say that the dogs had some of my mixed drink and liked it? Haha. Anyway, I go out and here Jeff is telling Spike he's interested in me (he's a nurse and is going to my school and we'd been doing the who has more medical knowledge thing all night). So I drunkenly coax them back inside. We start watching a Steve-O dvd and I'm having fun talking to everyone and watching this. I start taking pictures of everyone with myself and end up laying with my head in Rob's lap. He keeps getting texts from April and he says he has to go pick her up, is that okay? What the hell? But I say oh, okay, do what you gotta do.

He was gone for 2 fucking hours. I'm here with Jeff, who by the way, was sitting up on the couch passed out and threw up on himself. I'm also with Josh. So we make some coffee and talk, and talk, and talk, and fucking talk. By the time Spike gets back I've got this kid's entire life story. Finally Spike comes back with April (she snuck out) and they say pretty much nothing to anyone and go up to his room. I'm not hammered anymore, but I haven't eaten all week, so I'm not in any condition to drive for several more hours. And I am fucking pissed. Not because he still cares about his ex-girlfriend, but that he told me he was an open, honest, straightforward person.

Anyway, the whole reason he had to go get April was because she was "having a rough night". Now, for all the men out there, let me translate that, she was having a "oh shit, Spike has a new girl hanging around I better go back and piss on that spot like the dog I fucking am" night. Now don't think I came to this conclusion lightly. She was not having a bad night, she was perfectly fine, after being up in his room for an hour, she came down all sunshine and hung out with us like whoo hoo, I'm out on a school night. She also knew that Spike had to be at work at 7 in the morning and made him go get her at midnight then made him take her back to his house so she could make sure I wouldn't sleep with him, then wanted him to drive her back at 3am. Tell me that's not staking her territory. It sucks that she's actually kind of nice when she's not being a territorial bitch. So Spike finally told her to fuck off, he was not driving her home, make Josh do it.

Josh takes her home and then comes back and wakes up passed out Jeff. Jeff suddenly jumps up and decides he's ready to go home. So Josh and I have the couches, yippee. I debated going up and crawling in bed with Spike just for the warmth, but decided I have higher standards than sleeping in someone else's sex sheets with the guy I like. Josh says he only lives a block away and he could walk home and go to bed. I say, go ahead, I'm fine, I just need to sleep before I attempt to drive. He says, no I'll stay, I don't want you to stay alone. So we turn off all the lights and go to bed. Josh says, wow this is dark, its like a confessional or something. "I have something to confess" he says. I'm thinking, wow, could this night get any more fucked up? Oh but it could. So after spending the entire night talking with Josh about how I like Rob but if he still wants April I don't want anything to do with it, and him talking to me about how he's still in love with his ex, he says this...

"I'm only staying here because I want to get closer with you so we can fuck around."

Oh. Icing on the fucking cake. Every guy there that night wanted me in one way or another but Spike (as far as I know anyway). What would even posess him to say that out loud to me? I was speechless, I seriously had no clue what to say to him. Ugh. Ugh! I'm so pissed and shocked and I don't even know. I'm an idiot though. I should just give up, I'm never going to get laid again.

Oh oh and PS I drunk texted this guy Bear that I've been interested in all summer. I don't know what I said because I deleted the messages because my cell memory got full while I was drunk, but I'm sure it was drunken and highly embarrassing. But I still got invited to visit him on friday, so it couldn't have been too bad.

Oh PPS I also talked to my Dad the pastor/doctor on the phone while I was HAMMERED. This is why I should never drink on wednesday nights ever ever again.

And saturday is keg fest, Blue Eye's birthday party. It's 4 hours away. Should I go?

Thanks for reading of my horrible embarrassing night.
Love y'all.